have you ever stopped in your tracks and thought, what the hell am i doing?
last friday i got up in front of ALL the primary/junior candidates and did a mock interview session with four school principals. i don't actually know what i was thinking. i made the decision instantaneously, so i didn't have time to doubt it. it didn't want to, but that was exactly why i made myself do it - i wanted to challenge myself with the learning experience. primarily, i put myself through this tortuous situation to prepare for next weekend. the teaching overseas recruiting fair (torf) is in 9 days.
NINE days?!
nine days until i potentially get a job anywhere. there are schools coming from thailand, panama, egypt, guatemala, brazil, germany etc... the possibilities are endless. i haven't doubted for a second my decision to go overseas next year. but, i won't lie, i have a crazy mixture of emotions going through my mind about it: excitment, nerves and curiosity. where will this adventure take me? will i get any interviews? what will my school be like? what grade will i get? will i even get a job?
deep down i know that whatever decision i make will be the right one for me at this point in my life. phew. however, it still scares the living daylights out of me!
i am trying to remain calm and balanced about the whole experience, but it is pretty nuts when you start researching schools everywhere from uganda to bangladesh.
i'll keep you posted.
Wednesday, January 31, 2007
Monday, January 29, 2007
the break-up.
i was speaking to a girlfriend today, who was venting about an unhealthy friendship. from the sounds of it, this friend of hers has an incredible toxic relationship with everyone in her life: she is rude, inappropriate, controlling and generally not nice. when my girlfriend told me that she has been putting up with this friendship for over five years, at first i was angry. this wasn't a balanced, healthy friendship at all! but i got to thinking, and realized that as difficult as it is to break-up with a boyfriend, it is probably more difficult to break-up with a friend. we just don't do it. it is almost taboo.
i have heard stories of people who have told a toxic friend that they can't be friends anymore, but i have never actually met anyone who has done this. when a child is in grade three, all bets are off: if they don't like someone, they don't hesitate to tell them right to their face. why is it that when we grow up so many girls put up with friendships that they don't even enjoy?
i am not encouraging hatred, but i want shy/timid girls to stop putting up with 'bullies' who call themselves girlfriends. and it is NOT just shy and timid girls who put up with toxic friendships. some women have such powers of manipulation that even other strong, outgoing girls have difficulty standing up to them. if these toxic individuals are not put in their place, they will continue to feed off others, treat them poorly and boost their own feelings of power and control in the process.
i have seen bullying in the schoolyard, and i have witnessed friends being bullied in relationships. neither of these is acceptable. but this 'queen bee' phenomenon extends past middle school. maybe these women believe they are just being outspoken, independent and strong? in reality, however, they need a swift kick in the butt.
i have heard stories of people who have told a toxic friend that they can't be friends anymore, but i have never actually met anyone who has done this. when a child is in grade three, all bets are off: if they don't like someone, they don't hesitate to tell them right to their face. why is it that when we grow up so many girls put up with friendships that they don't even enjoy?
i am not encouraging hatred, but i want shy/timid girls to stop putting up with 'bullies' who call themselves girlfriends. and it is NOT just shy and timid girls who put up with toxic friendships. some women have such powers of manipulation that even other strong, outgoing girls have difficulty standing up to them. if these toxic individuals are not put in their place, they will continue to feed off others, treat them poorly and boost their own feelings of power and control in the process.
i have seen bullying in the schoolyard, and i have witnessed friends being bullied in relationships. neither of these is acceptable. but this 'queen bee' phenomenon extends past middle school. maybe these women believe they are just being outspoken, independent and strong? in reality, however, they need a swift kick in the butt.
Wednesday, January 24, 2007
banff mountain.
the best day of january has already come and gone.
each year, the banff mountain film festival goes on a world tour, and stops in kingston. the moment we get back in january, we get on the look-out for advertisements for this celebration of mountain culture and the spirit of adventure. as a highlight of january, it definitely helps combat the winter blahs! this year, i really missed erin, care and katie who have always been there with me in the past.
as always, the films were ridiculous awesome and inspiring. after the first hour, i was convinced that i should bike from mongolia to india, survive with no nutrients, and make a feature-length film about it. maybe one day. even the opening video gets the adrenaline flowing. you can actually watch it on youtube if you search bmff.
yes to the no: this was the first film and it was made by a group of guys that call themselves the rocky mountain sherpas. they introduced us to the sport of noboarding, which is basically snowboarding without boots. they love it because they are bringing snowboarding back to its roots, forcing a true connection between the rider and the snow. the shots were stunning, particularly this dude noboarding as the snow disintegrated into an avalanche. check them out at www.rockymountainsherpas.com.
first ascent: thailand: rock climbing off the coast of thailand. no ropes. falls broken by the ocean. nuts. but also really cool.
asiemut: this was my favourite of the films. a young french canadian couple, who had never made a film, and never gone on a bike trek, decided to bike 8,000 kilometres from mongolia to india. pushing themselves to their absolute limits, the film chronicles their journey through desert, sandstorm, water, mountain and their memorable encounters with locals. an unpretentious look at the world, as well as the crisis of abundance in society, these two examine their true place and capabilities. why did they decide to embark on this incredible journey? to feel they had a place in the world. and for themselves. a true tearfest. here is their french website, i believe english is to come: www.asiemut.mine.nu.
epicocity: thrill-seeking paddlers. i wish i had the guts. www.epicocity.com.
didier versus the cobra: the title character was this hilarious swiss dude who made it is mission to make the first ascent up the cobra crack in BC. the video chronicled his journey, his challenges, and his random trip to australia to follow his girlfriend. this film was worth it just to get to know didier.
the thrill seekers: when given 48 hours (1 day to film, 1 day to edit), this is what two british guys came up with. certainly gave the audience a good laugh! www.nakedsledge.co.uk.
kids who rip: a film about kids who are WAY cooler than i wil ever be. six year old skateboarders, tween bleach-blonde surfers, eight year old skiiers and snowboarders. fearless and frighteningly good - they must have brave parents (or crazy parents?) www.kidswhorip.com
ride of the mergansers: another highlight. an up-close look at merganser ducks like you have never seen them before. just after they have hatched, they must take a giant leap from their nests high in the trees to meet their mother below. these are some stellar falls, let me tell you. www.rideofthemergansers.com.
best of jo: a short film submited by the youngest filmaker ever at the banff mountain film festival. he claims that he would one day like to film *real* humans and maybe even make money doing it.
that's it.
i can't believe i have to wait another year to see more!
Monday, January 22, 2007
gift of the gab.
in ireland, the locals are known for the ability to talk with exuberance - readily and convincingly. in irish, the gift of the gab is called 'solabharthact', not that i have any idea how to pronounce it. i spent this past weekend in toronto, and i certainly got my fill of conversation. aside from the cumulative twelve hours i spent sleeping, i think talking/chatting/gossiping/catching-up is all that i did!
not that i am complaining. i was a veritable socialite in toronto this weekend! i brought absolutely no work, and did not even think about the faculty of education for more than 2.5 seconds. i got swept up in great conversations with both old and new friends. i socialized, ate out, shopped and dedicated the weekend to reconnecting with toronto folks. why is it that we don't speak with friends for months at a time, but when we finally do, we don't skip a beat? this is the sign of true friends, i think.
on friday night i had dinner with cayleigh at a delicious thai place on queen street west and then hit the town. she took me to meet some friends at the bovine sex club. no joke. i didn't notice a lot of cows, or a lot of sex for that matter, so i think the name must be purely for shock value. or perhaps it has some meaning that is beyond me. regardless, it was a stellar night with loads of familiar faces from queen's and around. the band was really quite good, and i managed to score a free ride home from them at the end of the night -- door to door service is a sure fire way to collect fans! in fact, i should give them a shoutout: thanks for the ride, caledonia.
saturday i lounged around the titus household with alyssa doing typical cottage-y type activties. sleeping, making a late breakfast, looking at pictures, lying around. we didn't get out of our pyjamas until almost 4! at five i met up with risa, my favourite jewish hippie vegan, whom i hadn't seen in almost TWO years. first of all, it was two years toooo long between visits. after we had tea and caught up, and i could barely believe how long it had been. she offers such a positive calming presence in my life. i adore her. i will have to make absolute sure it is not two years before i run into her again!
saturday night was sushi with a friend from my travels at a hidden gem. this place was called sushi on bloor (maybe i shouldn't be telling anyone else... keep the restaurant a secret) and it was quite possibly the best price-for-quality-food that i have had in eons. for less than 20 bucks, two people can get stuffed! the thirty minute lineup is worth it when you get free unlimited tea, soup and ice cream. i honestly felt like we were cheating them in some way when we got the bill.
sunday i had brunch with kally (another date that was way overdue) and got seriously distracted by the stores in yorkville and the the eaton centre. i kept trying to be practical and deciding to leave toronto, but then the titus' convinced me to stay for dinner.... and then tea... i just didn't want my weekend of conversation, gastronomy and socializing to end. plus i am easily convinced.
i am really not far from toronto, and with some good music or a book on tape, the trip absolutely flies by. i may not be like the irish, who possess a fluency of utterance unlike no other, but if i learned anything from my mother, i sure learned how to appreciate a good conversation.
not that i am complaining. i was a veritable socialite in toronto this weekend! i brought absolutely no work, and did not even think about the faculty of education for more than 2.5 seconds. i got swept up in great conversations with both old and new friends. i socialized, ate out, shopped and dedicated the weekend to reconnecting with toronto folks. why is it that we don't speak with friends for months at a time, but when we finally do, we don't skip a beat? this is the sign of true friends, i think.
on friday night i had dinner with cayleigh at a delicious thai place on queen street west and then hit the town. she took me to meet some friends at the bovine sex club. no joke. i didn't notice a lot of cows, or a lot of sex for that matter, so i think the name must be purely for shock value. or perhaps it has some meaning that is beyond me. regardless, it was a stellar night with loads of familiar faces from queen's and around. the band was really quite good, and i managed to score a free ride home from them at the end of the night -- door to door service is a sure fire way to collect fans! in fact, i should give them a shoutout: thanks for the ride, caledonia.
saturday i lounged around the titus household with alyssa doing typical cottage-y type activties. sleeping, making a late breakfast, looking at pictures, lying around. we didn't get out of our pyjamas until almost 4! at five i met up with risa, my favourite jewish hippie vegan, whom i hadn't seen in almost TWO years. first of all, it was two years toooo long between visits. after we had tea and caught up, and i could barely believe how long it had been. she offers such a positive calming presence in my life. i adore her. i will have to make absolute sure it is not two years before i run into her again!
saturday night was sushi with a friend from my travels at a hidden gem. this place was called sushi on bloor (maybe i shouldn't be telling anyone else... keep the restaurant a secret) and it was quite possibly the best price-for-quality-food that i have had in eons. for less than 20 bucks, two people can get stuffed! the thirty minute lineup is worth it when you get free unlimited tea, soup and ice cream. i honestly felt like we were cheating them in some way when we got the bill.
sunday i had brunch with kally (another date that was way overdue) and got seriously distracted by the stores in yorkville and the the eaton centre. i kept trying to be practical and deciding to leave toronto, but then the titus' convinced me to stay for dinner.... and then tea... i just didn't want my weekend of conversation, gastronomy and socializing to end. plus i am easily convinced.
i am really not far from toronto, and with some good music or a book on tape, the trip absolutely flies by. i may not be like the irish, who possess a fluency of utterance unlike no other, but if i learned anything from my mother, i sure learned how to appreciate a good conversation.
Wednesday, January 17, 2007
fix or repair daily.
for those of you who know me, you know my love/hate relationships with my cars.
i loved the blue beast i drove in high school. at that point, i was just ecstatic to own a car, period. i loved the freedom associated with having a car. i loved road trips, cottage weekends and going to school when i wanted. it gave me a sense of mobility that i have always craved, and probably took it slightly for granted. we certainly put WAY more money into the blue taurus then we should have. it broke down regularly, and often had expenses in the thousands of dollars to fix. i am sure that over the years we put way more money into the car than it was ever worth. i always vowed i would never own a ford again.
last year, when the blue beast finally died after a long and painful death, i couldn't imagine life without a car. i immediately went car shopping with an i'll-deal-with-the-consequences-later type of attitude. however, i realized i couldn't afford to lease, rent or buy a car... i would have run out of my available credit. i felt so trapped and discouraged. i know having a car is a luxury, but it was a luxury i had had for six years!
eventually, a set of circumstances led to the fleming's inheriting yet another ford taurus, at a low cost. dad drove it for awhile, but being a 1993, it wasn't in the greatest of conditions. a red interior (sexy), broken heat and regular maintenance was frustrating for him. when dad finally got the car of his dreams (certainly NOT a ford!), i inherited the aformentioned red taurus. how lucky have i been in this lifetime? not one, but two ford taurus'! about every two months, like clockwork, something goes wrong with the car. i keep deciding, against my better judgement, to pump money into the car when it should probably be heading to the dump. but, living far from campus in kingston and needing regular transportation to ottawa make it very difficult to consider being car-less.
just the other day i found out that my oil pan rotted through. i have been told that this is not actually the worst thing that could happen, but at 450 dollars it certainly feels pretty rough. i can handle fixing or repairing daily, i just hope it is never found on road dead. cross your fingers that i make it all the way to toronto this weekend. however, if you do happen to see a '93 red taurus on the side of the 401, please stop to help!
i loved the blue beast i drove in high school. at that point, i was just ecstatic to own a car, period. i loved the freedom associated with having a car. i loved road trips, cottage weekends and going to school when i wanted. it gave me a sense of mobility that i have always craved, and probably took it slightly for granted. we certainly put WAY more money into the blue taurus then we should have. it broke down regularly, and often had expenses in the thousands of dollars to fix. i am sure that over the years we put way more money into the car than it was ever worth. i always vowed i would never own a ford again.
last year, when the blue beast finally died after a long and painful death, i couldn't imagine life without a car. i immediately went car shopping with an i'll-deal-with-the-consequences-later type of attitude. however, i realized i couldn't afford to lease, rent or buy a car... i would have run out of my available credit. i felt so trapped and discouraged. i know having a car is a luxury, but it was a luxury i had had for six years!
eventually, a set of circumstances led to the fleming's inheriting yet another ford taurus, at a low cost. dad drove it for awhile, but being a 1993, it wasn't in the greatest of conditions. a red interior (sexy), broken heat and regular maintenance was frustrating for him. when dad finally got the car of his dreams (certainly NOT a ford!), i inherited the aformentioned red taurus. how lucky have i been in this lifetime? not one, but two ford taurus'! about every two months, like clockwork, something goes wrong with the car. i keep deciding, against my better judgement, to pump money into the car when it should probably be heading to the dump. but, living far from campus in kingston and needing regular transportation to ottawa make it very difficult to consider being car-less.
just the other day i found out that my oil pan rotted through. i have been told that this is not actually the worst thing that could happen, but at 450 dollars it certainly feels pretty rough. i can handle fixing or repairing daily, i just hope it is never found on road dead. cross your fingers that i make it all the way to toronto this weekend. however, if you do happen to see a '93 red taurus on the side of the 401, please stop to help!
Monday, January 15, 2007
all the world conspires.
january began at the faculty and everyone immediately hit the ground running... except me. i slept in for three days straight.
i know that we are meant to return from vacations well-rested, rejuvenated and ready to work. the problem is, i returned from my vacation wanting to go on another vacation. my body completely rejected any systems of structure. particularly related to being a student. after six years in post-secondary education, i am ready to be done. not only that, but seeing the world makes me realize how *little* i am actually learning by sitting in the classroom. i enjoy actually teaching when i am on practicum, but i constantly question whether this is where i am 'meant' to be.
i just finished reading paulo coelho's 'the alchemist'. it has been on my must read list for quite some time, and i was pleased to finally get my hands on a copy. while the novel has bestseller written all over it, i enjoyed the simple straight-forward messages within. sometimes, we get so wrapped up in complicated semantics that we need someone to spell it out for us. and this is exactly what coelho does. it is literally impossible to miss the message of the richest treasures being within ourselves. coelho uses a shepherd boy named santiago, and his journey to the pyramids in egypt, to show that all the world conspires to help us acheive what we are meant to, if we have the courage. he demonstrates the invisible chain that links one thing to another; and explains that it is a great lie that fate will simply take over - essentially calling for us to take an active role in our own futures.
but, has anyone noticed how exhausting it can be to find your own 'personal legend'? it is certainly not a simple endeavour. there are a whirlwind of job applications due over the next few weeks; dozens of information sessions and literally thousands of choices for what to do next year. i am not particularly stressed out and i am at peace with literally not knowing where next year will take me. but maybe i should be! this is a BIG deal. this is the start of my career, my journey on the road to my own personal legend. is it crazy to say that i am nervous because i am not feeling more overwhelmed by this enormity? i am not overwhelmed by potentially having a teaching job next year, but i am literally worried about never finding what i am truly 'meant' to do.
i know the type of life that i want to live, and the values that i want to live by - hopefully along this road, the whole world is conspiring and i just haven't noticed yet.
i know that we are meant to return from vacations well-rested, rejuvenated and ready to work. the problem is, i returned from my vacation wanting to go on another vacation. my body completely rejected any systems of structure. particularly related to being a student. after six years in post-secondary education, i am ready to be done. not only that, but seeing the world makes me realize how *little* i am actually learning by sitting in the classroom. i enjoy actually teaching when i am on practicum, but i constantly question whether this is where i am 'meant' to be.
i just finished reading paulo coelho's 'the alchemist'. it has been on my must read list for quite some time, and i was pleased to finally get my hands on a copy. while the novel has bestseller written all over it, i enjoyed the simple straight-forward messages within. sometimes, we get so wrapped up in complicated semantics that we need someone to spell it out for us. and this is exactly what coelho does. it is literally impossible to miss the message of the richest treasures being within ourselves. coelho uses a shepherd boy named santiago, and his journey to the pyramids in egypt, to show that all the world conspires to help us acheive what we are meant to, if we have the courage. he demonstrates the invisible chain that links one thing to another; and explains that it is a great lie that fate will simply take over - essentially calling for us to take an active role in our own futures.
but, has anyone noticed how exhausting it can be to find your own 'personal legend'? it is certainly not a simple endeavour. there are a whirlwind of job applications due over the next few weeks; dozens of information sessions and literally thousands of choices for what to do next year. i am not particularly stressed out and i am at peace with literally not knowing where next year will take me. but maybe i should be! this is a BIG deal. this is the start of my career, my journey on the road to my own personal legend. is it crazy to say that i am nervous because i am not feeling more overwhelmed by this enormity? i am not overwhelmed by potentially having a teaching job next year, but i am literally worried about never finding what i am truly 'meant' to do.
i know the type of life that i want to live, and the values that i want to live by - hopefully along this road, the whole world is conspiring and i just haven't noticed yet.
Tuesday, January 09, 2007
rock the boat.
what a way to start 2007: aboard a luxurious ship, with hundreds of young people, decadent food and alcohol paid for by our parents.
day 1: it was pouring rain in new orleans. torrential downpour. tornado warnings. we quickly got on our way sailing down the mississippi river.
day 2: cloudy, but i was not yet discouraged. there was still loads of time to aquire a killer tan. new years was celebrated with hundreds of balloons being dropped from the roof, and hundreds of people dancing in the centrum of the ship (and one guy grooving in a glass elevator going up and down just before midnight!). my parents partied with andrew and i in one of the lounges and even beat us to the dance floor! they left at 2, and i think i may have gone to bed as the sun hit the horizon in the morning...
mom and dad all jazzed up for new years eve:
day 3: slightly painful in the AM, but the sun was calling me! i spent all day sunning on the deck, exploring the ship and sitting in a hot tub. tough life.
food could be eaten at any hour of the day. literally. at our table we had a lovely family from alabama, and the older couple quickly became my adoptive grandparents. i idolized them: a hummer-driving, gambling-obsessed, cosmo-drinking lady paired up with the dry humour of a man who used to own an ice cream restaurant. i LOVED them.
day 4: georgetown, grand cayman. sigh. we got off the ship, hired a cab and went directly to the beach, and buried ourselves there all day. we got up for a few walks down the beach (corona's in hand) and a few floats in the ocean. the sand is truly like silk and the ocean is azure blue. beautiful. the day was completed with a midnight buffet and pool party under the stars.
day 5: we were supposed to go to a port in the mayan riviera, however due to high waves, we had to change our plans. the boat did rock quite a bit, but i never felt that it made me uncomfortable. some people were disappointed to miss the port, but the staff were excited because it was replaced with a night out in cozumel! plus, seriously, we can't do anything about the weather and there are worse places to be stuck than on a luxurious boat in the middle of the caribbean sea.
andrew all dressed up during a scavenger hunt:
day 6: island of cozumel. we took a catamaran ride out to a snorkelling location (yes, it is true, my mother drank beer before 9 AM in the morning), and then lounged on a 'private, secluded beach' (only inches away from an extremely large resort complex). we ocean kayaked, floated on air mattresses and drank margaritas like they were going out of style. the afternoon was spent window shopping and experiencing the debauchery of carlos 'n charlies. my parents had the luxury of watching my brother have a litre of sangria poured down his throat, lucky them!
floating in cozumel:
day 7: last full day at sea. i was really lucky to have met so many wonderful people on the cruise, so i spent most of my last day with them. we danced up a storm at the club (closing it, obviously!), socialized in the hot tub for hours on end and lost all our money in the casino. it was a late night, once again. painful to get up to retrieve our passports after only a few seconds of sleep.
day 8: you may have realized that i did absolutely nothing productive on this cruise. and, you would be right. i did, however, finish two whole books and one magazine. AND, i got to spend some quality time with my family, which was long overdue. lucky for me, we got to spend another 36 hours together as our plane got delayed in new york, and we missed our connection in toronto.
tired, tanned and slightly tired of each other, the fleming family survived their (potentially) last family vacation. apparently next time the trip is on me. i better get a good job. a really, really, really good job! (and that would only pay for our alcohol bill...)
day 1: it was pouring rain in new orleans. torrential downpour. tornado warnings. we quickly got on our way sailing down the mississippi river.
day 2: cloudy, but i was not yet discouraged. there was still loads of time to aquire a killer tan. new years was celebrated with hundreds of balloons being dropped from the roof, and hundreds of people dancing in the centrum of the ship (and one guy grooving in a glass elevator going up and down just before midnight!). my parents partied with andrew and i in one of the lounges and even beat us to the dance floor! they left at 2, and i think i may have gone to bed as the sun hit the horizon in the morning...
mom and dad all jazzed up for new years eve:
day 3: slightly painful in the AM, but the sun was calling me! i spent all day sunning on the deck, exploring the ship and sitting in a hot tub. tough life.
food could be eaten at any hour of the day. literally. at our table we had a lovely family from alabama, and the older couple quickly became my adoptive grandparents. i idolized them: a hummer-driving, gambling-obsessed, cosmo-drinking lady paired up with the dry humour of a man who used to own an ice cream restaurant. i LOVED them.
day 4: georgetown, grand cayman. sigh. we got off the ship, hired a cab and went directly to the beach, and buried ourselves there all day. we got up for a few walks down the beach (corona's in hand) and a few floats in the ocean. the sand is truly like silk and the ocean is azure blue. beautiful. the day was completed with a midnight buffet and pool party under the stars.
day 5: we were supposed to go to a port in the mayan riviera, however due to high waves, we had to change our plans. the boat did rock quite a bit, but i never felt that it made me uncomfortable. some people were disappointed to miss the port, but the staff were excited because it was replaced with a night out in cozumel! plus, seriously, we can't do anything about the weather and there are worse places to be stuck than on a luxurious boat in the middle of the caribbean sea.
andrew all dressed up during a scavenger hunt:
day 6: island of cozumel. we took a catamaran ride out to a snorkelling location (yes, it is true, my mother drank beer before 9 AM in the morning), and then lounged on a 'private, secluded beach' (only inches away from an extremely large resort complex). we ocean kayaked, floated on air mattresses and drank margaritas like they were going out of style. the afternoon was spent window shopping and experiencing the debauchery of carlos 'n charlies. my parents had the luxury of watching my brother have a litre of sangria poured down his throat, lucky them!
floating in cozumel:
day 7: last full day at sea. i was really lucky to have met so many wonderful people on the cruise, so i spent most of my last day with them. we danced up a storm at the club (closing it, obviously!), socialized in the hot tub for hours on end and lost all our money in the casino. it was a late night, once again. painful to get up to retrieve our passports after only a few seconds of sleep.
day 8: you may have realized that i did absolutely nothing productive on this cruise. and, you would be right. i did, however, finish two whole books and one magazine. AND, i got to spend some quality time with my family, which was long overdue. lucky for me, we got to spend another 36 hours together as our plane got delayed in new york, and we missed our connection in toronto.
tired, tanned and slightly tired of each other, the fleming family survived their (potentially) last family vacation. apparently next time the trip is on me. i better get a good job. a really, really, really good job! (and that would only pay for our alcohol bill...)
Monday, January 08, 2007
the big easy.
the last time i went on a family vacation, i was in grade 12. so, it has been awhile since the fleming family all got together and took the world by a storm. as a christmas gift, my parents surprised andrew and i with a week-long cruise out of new orleans. to be completely honest, i was most excited with our days in new orleans before the cruise!
we flew in via phili on december 28th with no problems. considering MANY people on our cruise had flight delays and tornado warnings when they arrived on the 30th, we were very lucky. i knew that hurricane katrina had severely devasted new orleans, but aside from the immediate coverage in 2005, i was really unaware of the current state of the city. i was excited for two days of music, soul and good food but i was also looking forward to an eye-opening, sobering experience.
my first impression was the sheer emptiness at the airport. there were absolutely no planes, and very few people. new orleans is certainly not a hub airport, but i didn't expect it to be so dead. since katrina, tourist rates have severely dropped off, and the population of the city has been depleted by half. full neighbourhoods and completely empty. driving through suburbs, there are no cars, no children playing in the streets and few open businesses. certain areas look like ghost towns. cab drivers and tour operators kept telling us how thankful they were that we had come to visit, and for our contribution to the local economy.
upon arrival at our hotel in the french quarter, there is less indication that anything has changed. the french quarter was almost completely unaffected by the flooding after the storm. tourists seemingly swarmed the strip clubs along bourbon street (although apparently it still looks empty to many residents), restaurants have lines that snake out the door, and street performers play to large crowds. however, after converstation with several locals, we learned that many businesses have only recently re-opened, that street performers have only begun to entertain and return to the city, and that many residents still have to rebuild their entire lives and houses.
one tour operator asked that we tell others the truth about new orleans. the truth is, i have never visited a more welcoming, lively, colourful city in my life. it is so obvious that residents love their city, and are so proud of where they live. tourists are visiting, businesses are being rebuilt and residents are gradually filtering back into the city. however, new orleans is not yet alright. they say it will be decades before the city fully recovers. the news has not done justice of reporting the real situation in the city: flooding has demolished entire communities, and nothing has been done. houses are still overturned in the ninth ward. emergency trailors have been donated by the government for residents to live in while they rebuild their homes, but many are inoperable due to a shortage of electricians to hook them up to power. crime and vandalism runs rampant.
the best thing we can do for new orleans is to visit, and to contribute to their local economy. the city is damaged - but it is far from a lost cause. however, if you DO visit new orleans, do not keep yourself isolated to only the french quarter, where less has changed. venture out into where the majority of the city lived, where they swarmed the superdome, and hid in attics during the three weeks of flooding after the storm. while i was there, 40,000 students from various universities were participating in a habitat for humanity project in the ninth ward.
my days in new orleans were amazing: i ate delicious fried chicken, and beignets; listened to dr. john at a local jazz club; and met incredible local citizens who have taken on the enormous job of loving new orleans back to life.
we flew in via phili on december 28th with no problems. considering MANY people on our cruise had flight delays and tornado warnings when they arrived on the 30th, we were very lucky. i knew that hurricane katrina had severely devasted new orleans, but aside from the immediate coverage in 2005, i was really unaware of the current state of the city. i was excited for two days of music, soul and good food but i was also looking forward to an eye-opening, sobering experience.
my first impression was the sheer emptiness at the airport. there were absolutely no planes, and very few people. new orleans is certainly not a hub airport, but i didn't expect it to be so dead. since katrina, tourist rates have severely dropped off, and the population of the city has been depleted by half. full neighbourhoods and completely empty. driving through suburbs, there are no cars, no children playing in the streets and few open businesses. certain areas look like ghost towns. cab drivers and tour operators kept telling us how thankful they were that we had come to visit, and for our contribution to the local economy.
upon arrival at our hotel in the french quarter, there is less indication that anything has changed. the french quarter was almost completely unaffected by the flooding after the storm. tourists seemingly swarmed the strip clubs along bourbon street (although apparently it still looks empty to many residents), restaurants have lines that snake out the door, and street performers play to large crowds. however, after converstation with several locals, we learned that many businesses have only recently re-opened, that street performers have only begun to entertain and return to the city, and that many residents still have to rebuild their entire lives and houses.
one tour operator asked that we tell others the truth about new orleans. the truth is, i have never visited a more welcoming, lively, colourful city in my life. it is so obvious that residents love their city, and are so proud of where they live. tourists are visiting, businesses are being rebuilt and residents are gradually filtering back into the city. however, new orleans is not yet alright. they say it will be decades before the city fully recovers. the news has not done justice of reporting the real situation in the city: flooding has demolished entire communities, and nothing has been done. houses are still overturned in the ninth ward. emergency trailors have been donated by the government for residents to live in while they rebuild their homes, but many are inoperable due to a shortage of electricians to hook them up to power. crime and vandalism runs rampant.
the best thing we can do for new orleans is to visit, and to contribute to their local economy. the city is damaged - but it is far from a lost cause. however, if you DO visit new orleans, do not keep yourself isolated to only the french quarter, where less has changed. venture out into where the majority of the city lived, where they swarmed the superdome, and hid in attics during the three weeks of flooding after the storm. while i was there, 40,000 students from various universities were participating in a habitat for humanity project in the ninth ward.
my days in new orleans were amazing: i ate delicious fried chicken, and beignets; listened to dr. john at a local jazz club; and met incredible local citizens who have taken on the enormous job of loving new orleans back to life.
Tuesday, December 26, 2006
joyeux noel.
happy boxing day, folks. today i watched the most beautiful christmas movie i have ever seen. 'joyeux noel' tells the (loosely based on a true story) story of a christmas eve during world war one where french, german and scottish troops come out of their trenches to no man's land to shake hands with enemies, bury the dead, play music and play soccer. the story is simple, moving and completely encapsulates the meaning of christmas.
aside from coming down with strep throat, my christmas was splendid. a long sleep-in followed by the most delicious brunch eventually led to present opening. (we are in no rush in the fleming household!) the evening featured a dinner table of 15 spilling into the living room, charades and more present-opening. a few moments that made it even more memorable:
1. my granny telling a story (over appetizers) about how her prosthetic breast floated away from her while swimmming with a babe in arms. she proceeded to ask her gentlemen companion to 'fetch her breast'...
2. when many would not, my 90 year-old granny rose to the challenge and acted out the 'amazing race' during charades. i was dearly worried that she would never rise out of the ready, set position!
3. me clapping after my dad's sermon at the 7 o'clock children's service on christmas eve. apparently we don't really clap after sermons. people generally clap after speeches, and performances, why not sermons??!
4. my brother and i sneezing a collective 20 times during church.
5. my aunt successfully acting out 'the happy hooker' during charades.
6. my brother modelling his new 'sexy' boxer shorts for the entire extended family.
i hope you all had a lovely christmas with loads of joy and jolly. AND, that you made the wise decision to avoid the crowds on boxing day. the christmas season cannot be rejuvenating and relaxing if we are back to fighting over parking spots 12 hours after our turkey dinner!
peace and love to all.
aside from coming down with strep throat, my christmas was splendid. a long sleep-in followed by the most delicious brunch eventually led to present opening. (we are in no rush in the fleming household!) the evening featured a dinner table of 15 spilling into the living room, charades and more present-opening. a few moments that made it even more memorable:
1. my granny telling a story (over appetizers) about how her prosthetic breast floated away from her while swimmming with a babe in arms. she proceeded to ask her gentlemen companion to 'fetch her breast'...
2. when many would not, my 90 year-old granny rose to the challenge and acted out the 'amazing race' during charades. i was dearly worried that she would never rise out of the ready, set position!
3. me clapping after my dad's sermon at the 7 o'clock children's service on christmas eve. apparently we don't really clap after sermons. people generally clap after speeches, and performances, why not sermons??!
4. my brother and i sneezing a collective 20 times during church.
5. my aunt successfully acting out 'the happy hooker' during charades.
6. my brother modelling his new 'sexy' boxer shorts for the entire extended family.
i hope you all had a lovely christmas with loads of joy and jolly. AND, that you made the wise decision to avoid the crowds on boxing day. the christmas season cannot be rejuvenating and relaxing if we are back to fighting over parking spots 12 hours after our turkey dinner!
peace and love to all.
Sunday, December 17, 2006
that's the spirit.
the other day my associate teacher mentioned that she felt that the 'magic' of christmas has become overshadowed with last minute shopping sprees, busy social calendars and stress. i realized that i couldn't remember the last time that i had enjoyed the preparations for christmas. particularly during my undergrad, exams always took priority over the holiday cheer. for the past five years, i have woken up after exams and realized that i had four days left until christmas! i missed walks in the snow, decorating the tree, shopping without the rush and having the time to actually enjoy the season. christmas passed in the blink of an eye.
working in a school was the first thing that changed it all for me this year. it is impossible NOT to get into the spirit of christmas when kids start talking about santa on december first. their eyes light up when we read holiday stories (we now read stories about hanukkah, christmas, kwanzaa etc), and they make it impossible to have any semblance of learning with their minds wandering to visions of sugar plum fairies and new ipods. teachers started wearing classic "teacher" sweaters with cabins, reindeer and mistletoe embroidered across their front. note: in case you haven't already guessed, i will never be caught dead in a "teacher" sweater. i can't even bring myself to wear holiday earings. they won't match my power suits!
the icing on the christmas cake was this weekend. my whole family was home and we spent friday night decorating the tree and listening to classic holiday cd's. saturday was present wrapping (with christmas movies on, of course) and sunday was baking and christmas cards. for the first time in my short life, i am almost ready for christmas and the day is still a week away! i now have SEVEN full days to soak up the magic of this time of year.
this evening i attended a christmas party a friend's house. the decorations, the conversation, the food -- everything was planned to put us in the christmas mood. driving home, i couldn't remember the last time i had felt this happy and appreciative about a holiday.
i can't wait to wake up tomorrow morning and try to focus on my job. ooops. in the midst of all this christmas spirit, i have kind of forgotten about my job. maybe the kids will be too excited to notice.
working in a school was the first thing that changed it all for me this year. it is impossible NOT to get into the spirit of christmas when kids start talking about santa on december first. their eyes light up when we read holiday stories (we now read stories about hanukkah, christmas, kwanzaa etc), and they make it impossible to have any semblance of learning with their minds wandering to visions of sugar plum fairies and new ipods. teachers started wearing classic "teacher" sweaters with cabins, reindeer and mistletoe embroidered across their front. note: in case you haven't already guessed, i will never be caught dead in a "teacher" sweater. i can't even bring myself to wear holiday earings. they won't match my power suits!
the icing on the christmas cake was this weekend. my whole family was home and we spent friday night decorating the tree and listening to classic holiday cd's. saturday was present wrapping (with christmas movies on, of course) and sunday was baking and christmas cards. for the first time in my short life, i am almost ready for christmas and the day is still a week away! i now have SEVEN full days to soak up the magic of this time of year.
this evening i attended a christmas party a friend's house. the decorations, the conversation, the food -- everything was planned to put us in the christmas mood. driving home, i couldn't remember the last time i had felt this happy and appreciative about a holiday.
i can't wait to wake up tomorrow morning and try to focus on my job. ooops. in the midst of all this christmas spirit, i have kind of forgotten about my job. maybe the kids will be too excited to notice.
Monday, December 11, 2006
nothing but the truth.
kids say the darndest things. they really do. my days are continually made brighter by their witty remarks, completely unbeknownst to them. obviously i laugh with them, at them... even behind their backs. but they can never know how hilarious i really think they are. how would they ever take my discipline seriously when they know i am laughing inside?
for example, as i am trying to teach a very very serious lesson (can you pictures it?) on patterning, this kid finds tape and creates a mustache for himself. speaking in a british accent, he says, "hello, i am king arthur..." WHAT? where do they get these things? caught somewhere between anger at the interuption and genuine glee that he has actually heard of a major historical figure, i simply continued the lesson and took the tape away. i turn back around for a few minutes, and these kids have found more tape and have created beards for themselves as well and suddenly i am in a room of old british generals. it was literally impossible to keep a straight face. this morning, to show that i could play their game -- i wrote on the board, and turned around with my own masking tape mustache. it was quite the fashion statement, let me tell you.
i have another kid who lies directly to my face. and to every other face in the building. his lies are so bad that it is almost flabbergasting. picture something along the line of this: you watch a child take a book and put it into his backpack. when you explain later that you are looking for the book, the child searches frantically along with the others and when approached he answers in the most innocent voice, "no miss fleming, i haven't seen it..." logic, truth and honesty mean nothing to this kid. he downright lies ALL the time! he wouldn't even begin to change his story until i took his bag to look for myself... and after that the story would take on a life of its own. seriously, this was not the way it was for me! i once lied to my parents right to their face (after being caught swiping a twenty from my mom's purse when i was 7) but i broke down after about 30 seconds. these kids can make up quite the scenarios, and go on for days!
other moments of note:
1. to a non-pregnant teacher while poking her tummy: "is there a baby in there?"
2. catching the kids passing a note asking, "do you even like so-and-so? she is in gred too"
3. child: "miss fleming, are you married?"
me: "no."
child: "why?"
me: "because i haven't found the time yet"
child: "well, you look like you should be married"
4. during lunch:
my class: "miss fleming, can we play the quiet game?"
me: "what is that?"
my class: "we are really quiet and you tell us if you hear voices"
me: "gee, let me think..." (of course, they will ALWAYS have my permission to play the quiet game)
5. during shared reading:
me: "can anyone tell me a fact about animals?"
kid: "turtles are faster than chickens"
me: "at what?"
kid: "at life"
6. in jk/sk:
me: "can anyone tell me about the letter b?"
kid raising his hand, about to explode with excitment: "well... it is.... well.... on the weekend, i went to grandma'sand she gave me a dollar and then i had a sleepover in napanee and mom said that i couldn't eat more cake and in the summer i want to go swimming."
for example, as i am trying to teach a very very serious lesson (can you pictures it?) on patterning, this kid finds tape and creates a mustache for himself. speaking in a british accent, he says, "hello, i am king arthur..." WHAT? where do they get these things? caught somewhere between anger at the interuption and genuine glee that he has actually heard of a major historical figure, i simply continued the lesson and took the tape away. i turn back around for a few minutes, and these kids have found more tape and have created beards for themselves as well and suddenly i am in a room of old british generals. it was literally impossible to keep a straight face. this morning, to show that i could play their game -- i wrote on the board, and turned around with my own masking tape mustache. it was quite the fashion statement, let me tell you.
i have another kid who lies directly to my face. and to every other face in the building. his lies are so bad that it is almost flabbergasting. picture something along the line of this: you watch a child take a book and put it into his backpack. when you explain later that you are looking for the book, the child searches frantically along with the others and when approached he answers in the most innocent voice, "no miss fleming, i haven't seen it..." logic, truth and honesty mean nothing to this kid. he downright lies ALL the time! he wouldn't even begin to change his story until i took his bag to look for myself... and after that the story would take on a life of its own. seriously, this was not the way it was for me! i once lied to my parents right to their face (after being caught swiping a twenty from my mom's purse when i was 7) but i broke down after about 30 seconds. these kids can make up quite the scenarios, and go on for days!
other moments of note:
1. to a non-pregnant teacher while poking her tummy: "is there a baby in there?"
2. catching the kids passing a note asking, "do you even like so-and-so? she is in gred too"
3. child: "miss fleming, are you married?"
me: "no."
child: "why?"
me: "because i haven't found the time yet"
child: "well, you look like you should be married"
4. during lunch:
my class: "miss fleming, can we play the quiet game?"
me: "what is that?"
my class: "we are really quiet and you tell us if you hear voices"
me: "gee, let me think..." (of course, they will ALWAYS have my permission to play the quiet game)
5. during shared reading:
me: "can anyone tell me a fact about animals?"
kid: "turtles are faster than chickens"
me: "at what?"
kid: "at life"
6. in jk/sk:
me: "can anyone tell me about the letter b?"
kid raising his hand, about to explode with excitment: "well... it is.... well.... on the weekend, i went to grandma'sand she gave me a dollar and then i had a sleepover in napanee and mom said that i couldn't eat more cake and in the summer i want to go swimming."
Sunday, December 10, 2006
bad day.
i have never been one who relishes in other people's misery, but if you happen to be, then this is your post. my day yesterday was certainly one for the books. there was not simply one terrible, awful, no-good thing that contributed to my very bad day (did you notice my reference to classic children's literature?), but an accumulation of small things that led me to believe that i should spend the rest of my day lying in bed, without risk of causing greater harm to anyone who came into my wake.
i woke up with good intentions. i read the newspaper in bed and got up at a reasonable time, pumped to head for the gym. when i went out to my car (which i park at my next door neighbours house because they have a second house elsewhere in the world) there was a *lovely* note on my car from the mrs. asking me to please offer them access to their driveway. now, in theory, this is not something that would usually bother me. most people prefer to have access to their own driveways! however, a few days earlier i had spoken with the mr. who had said it would be fine. in fact, i was under the impression that they liked it (particularly when they were out of the country), because it gave the impression that someone was home. this, however, was not the first note that i have had the priviledge of finding under my windshield. every time they come home, they write a note to the "owner of the car" demanding that it be moved. then, i take the time to sort it out with them. believing that i am permitted to use the driveway again, i park away for the months they are gone and whenever they return to canada i am lucky enough to find another note. does this family have substantial memory loss? how can they NOT know whose car it is when it has always been mine in the past? if they don't want me to use their driveway when they are home - that is fine - but a little politeness never hurt.
on the way home from the gym my water bottle burst in my gym bag essentially ruining my little black book of addresses/lists/notes. i love inky pens but in this case i was not in love with the inky mess on every page.
next, i decided to run a quick errand to buy a christmas gift for a family friend. on the way out of the store i picked up a nail polish to look at, and the plastic wrapper slipped off. as if in slow motion, the RED nail polish dropped to the floor, smashed into a million itty bitty little pieces covering my new pants, the store floor and a huge display of products with a bloody massacre. in my attempt to clean up i also cut my finger. what a sight for the customers coming into the store. somehow i got out of the mess without having to pay a cent. i am still not sure how i managed that one!
at this point it wasn't even 1PM. i return home to my father who has gone christmas shopping for andrew. fittingly he purchased an item for my brother that i had JUST purchased for my father the day before! i didn't even have the energy to care.
i tried to watch CSI but the tape stopped half way through the episode. now it was simply hilarious.
completely defeated, midway through a CSI episode i conceded defeat to the day and fell into my bed ready to fall asleep for the night. too bad it was still only 3PM.
i woke up with good intentions. i read the newspaper in bed and got up at a reasonable time, pumped to head for the gym. when i went out to my car (which i park at my next door neighbours house because they have a second house elsewhere in the world) there was a *lovely* note on my car from the mrs. asking me to please offer them access to their driveway. now, in theory, this is not something that would usually bother me. most people prefer to have access to their own driveways! however, a few days earlier i had spoken with the mr. who had said it would be fine. in fact, i was under the impression that they liked it (particularly when they were out of the country), because it gave the impression that someone was home. this, however, was not the first note that i have had the priviledge of finding under my windshield. every time they come home, they write a note to the "owner of the car" demanding that it be moved. then, i take the time to sort it out with them. believing that i am permitted to use the driveway again, i park away for the months they are gone and whenever they return to canada i am lucky enough to find another note. does this family have substantial memory loss? how can they NOT know whose car it is when it has always been mine in the past? if they don't want me to use their driveway when they are home - that is fine - but a little politeness never hurt.
on the way home from the gym my water bottle burst in my gym bag essentially ruining my little black book of addresses/lists/notes. i love inky pens but in this case i was not in love with the inky mess on every page.
next, i decided to run a quick errand to buy a christmas gift for a family friend. on the way out of the store i picked up a nail polish to look at, and the plastic wrapper slipped off. as if in slow motion, the RED nail polish dropped to the floor, smashed into a million itty bitty little pieces covering my new pants, the store floor and a huge display of products with a bloody massacre. in my attempt to clean up i also cut my finger. what a sight for the customers coming into the store. somehow i got out of the mess without having to pay a cent. i am still not sure how i managed that one!
at this point it wasn't even 1PM. i return home to my father who has gone christmas shopping for andrew. fittingly he purchased an item for my brother that i had JUST purchased for my father the day before! i didn't even have the energy to care.
i tried to watch CSI but the tape stopped half way through the episode. now it was simply hilarious.
completely defeated, midway through a CSI episode i conceded defeat to the day and fell into my bed ready to fall asleep for the night. too bad it was still only 3PM.
Wednesday, November 29, 2006
denied.
what i wouldn't give to be independently wealthy right about now.
in order to fund my alternative practicum in mexico for three weeks in march, i applied for a bursary through the university. the whole process of applying was very bureaucratic and specific - it was very frustrating to put together an application when three people were guiding me in different directions. i began to doubt my wording and my overall vision, ennerved by the overtly political process. in the end, however, i handed in an application i was generally proud of - i believe i had an interesting, dynamic, unique learning project on the incorporation of community service in international schools.
in my inbox this evening, an e-mail beginning, "we regret to inform you..." arrived. at least they put the "we regret to inform you..." in the first line so i didn't have to read on with false hopes! the application was unsuccessful. no explanation. i am left with no sense of what i did wrong, or by extension, what they were looking for in an ideal application. i thought my application was thought-provoking and interesting, but i am sure it was only one of many! i sat at the computer and realized i had become completely unenriched by the process. it is true -- if successful i would have 600 dollars in my hand -- but it is worth it to spend countless hours applying for bursaries, writing essays and answering questions only to be rejected with no further comment? i realize that this is the real world, not grade two, but it is very discouraging to have direction, motivation and an adventurous spirit - yet in the academic world, that is clearly not enough. perhaps they wanted a proposal with a more rigid academic framework, or a more thorough investigation of an educational question. i am no academic -- i love working with children and i love travelling -- and working abroad would merge my two passions. at what age did pure passion leave the equation? the best teachers are not necessarily the most academic, the best educators simply have a pure love for what they do.
ultimately, i will be going on my alternate practicum regardless of this disappointing setback. i know that it may not be the most financially viable plan, but this is something that is important to me, and i will not let a group of academics who read about me on paper get me down.
anyone need a babysitter?
in order to fund my alternative practicum in mexico for three weeks in march, i applied for a bursary through the university. the whole process of applying was very bureaucratic and specific - it was very frustrating to put together an application when three people were guiding me in different directions. i began to doubt my wording and my overall vision, ennerved by the overtly political process. in the end, however, i handed in an application i was generally proud of - i believe i had an interesting, dynamic, unique learning project on the incorporation of community service in international schools.
in my inbox this evening, an e-mail beginning, "we regret to inform you..." arrived. at least they put the "we regret to inform you..." in the first line so i didn't have to read on with false hopes! the application was unsuccessful. no explanation. i am left with no sense of what i did wrong, or by extension, what they were looking for in an ideal application. i thought my application was thought-provoking and interesting, but i am sure it was only one of many! i sat at the computer and realized i had become completely unenriched by the process. it is true -- if successful i would have 600 dollars in my hand -- but it is worth it to spend countless hours applying for bursaries, writing essays and answering questions only to be rejected with no further comment? i realize that this is the real world, not grade two, but it is very discouraging to have direction, motivation and an adventurous spirit - yet in the academic world, that is clearly not enough. perhaps they wanted a proposal with a more rigid academic framework, or a more thorough investigation of an educational question. i am no academic -- i love working with children and i love travelling -- and working abroad would merge my two passions. at what age did pure passion leave the equation? the best teachers are not necessarily the most academic, the best educators simply have a pure love for what they do.
ultimately, i will be going on my alternate practicum regardless of this disappointing setback. i know that it may not be the most financially viable plan, but this is something that is important to me, and i will not let a group of academics who read about me on paper get me down.
anyone need a babysitter?
Thursday, November 16, 2006
the comfort zone.
teacher's college is a life of constant transition. however, it is not a wandering/adventurous type of change, it is an unsettling/disrupting life of back and forth. my time is divided between classes at the faculty in kingston, and my practicums in ottawa. the problem is, we only spend a few weeks in each location. as soon as i am getting settled, comfortable with one housing situation, connected with a group of friends/colleagues and falling into a routine - it all ends, i get uprooted, and i have to start again.
there is no way that we can be operating at full capacity with this level of disruption in our lives. while i have never been someone who needs stability (in fact, i reject the claustrophobia of a safe, comfortable life), i would rather be constantly on the move, or temporarily settled. the courses at the faculty are (for the most part) painfully boring, but my time in kingston has been redeemed by new friends and some inspiring profs. teaching in ottawa is exhausting, and it feels weird to be back in barrhaven, but it is wonderful to be reconnecting with old friends and working with kids full-time. neither is perfect, but this balance between the two is not really creating an equilibrium in my life.
i am realizing more and more that i am craving something -- that i am lacking something in my life -- and i am still not quite sure what it is. i crave a comfort zone, but in a sense i ultimately reject the very notion as it feels mundane.
my classes at the faculty end tomorrow and i am heading back to ottawa for my next placement which begins on monday. but first, i am heading to burlington and st. catherines for some quality extended family time. saturday i will get to see my 'little' brother on stage and bear witness how cool he has become, leaving me his dust!
there is no way that we can be operating at full capacity with this level of disruption in our lives. while i have never been someone who needs stability (in fact, i reject the claustrophobia of a safe, comfortable life), i would rather be constantly on the move, or temporarily settled. the courses at the faculty are (for the most part) painfully boring, but my time in kingston has been redeemed by new friends and some inspiring profs. teaching in ottawa is exhausting, and it feels weird to be back in barrhaven, but it is wonderful to be reconnecting with old friends and working with kids full-time. neither is perfect, but this balance between the two is not really creating an equilibrium in my life.
i am realizing more and more that i am craving something -- that i am lacking something in my life -- and i am still not quite sure what it is. i crave a comfort zone, but in a sense i ultimately reject the very notion as it feels mundane.
my classes at the faculty end tomorrow and i am heading back to ottawa for my next placement which begins on monday. but first, i am heading to burlington and st. catherines for some quality extended family time. saturday i will get to see my 'little' brother on stage and bear witness how cool he has become, leaving me his dust!
Tuesday, October 17, 2006
ms. fleming.
mr. fleming
mrs. meflemin
ms. flemingo
ms. fllemng
those are some of the random names that i have gotten from my jk/sk's over the past few weeks. until now, i never realized that fleming was a difficult word for little ones to say. i would LOVE to go by ms. sarah, but unfortunately, mme. sarah the french teacher stole the name first!
i am into week three of my practicum, and have settled nicely until my new routine. i struggle through my groggy, painful mornings and the hour of traffic on the way home. i have had two colds in three weeks, and can't remember the last time i was this tired by 8 o'clock at night. is this my daily routine for the rest of my life? if my day from 6 am to 6 pm is dedicated to getting up, teaching, and getting home, when do i live my life that is part of the so-called work/life balance? i have been neglecting the gym, neglecting e-mails and am seriously out of touch with anyone over the age of 5.
however, i have also never experienced a more rewarding day job. getting through to a particular child, watching their eyes light up as the light bulb goes off in their head -- their is nothing like it. i laugh more than i expected to, i am continually surprised by their observations and i have never heard so many i love you's.
how do i find a happy medium? there must be a way to enjoy the work week, and still find time for ourselves. and i don't even have a husband or child! this might not be something that i will be able to remedy until i have a class of my own.
for now, since it is already 9:30, i think i'll sleep on it. sigh. the crazy life of a teacher!
mrs. meflemin
ms. flemingo
ms. fllemng
those are some of the random names that i have gotten from my jk/sk's over the past few weeks. until now, i never realized that fleming was a difficult word for little ones to say. i would LOVE to go by ms. sarah, but unfortunately, mme. sarah the french teacher stole the name first!
i am into week three of my practicum, and have settled nicely until my new routine. i struggle through my groggy, painful mornings and the hour of traffic on the way home. i have had two colds in three weeks, and can't remember the last time i was this tired by 8 o'clock at night. is this my daily routine for the rest of my life? if my day from 6 am to 6 pm is dedicated to getting up, teaching, and getting home, when do i live my life that is part of the so-called work/life balance? i have been neglecting the gym, neglecting e-mails and am seriously out of touch with anyone over the age of 5.
however, i have also never experienced a more rewarding day job. getting through to a particular child, watching their eyes light up as the light bulb goes off in their head -- their is nothing like it. i laugh more than i expected to, i am continually surprised by their observations and i have never heard so many i love you's.
how do i find a happy medium? there must be a way to enjoy the work week, and still find time for ourselves. and i don't even have a husband or child! this might not be something that i will be able to remedy until i have a class of my own.
for now, since it is already 9:30, i think i'll sleep on it. sigh. the crazy life of a teacher!
Wednesday, September 27, 2006
tdot.
hello strangers.
my whirlwind 3.5 month adventure to europe is finished.
my fairly random trip to iowa has recently passed.
and i am stuck in kingston attending the college of cut and paste.
so what better excuse than a road trip to toronto to catch up with some old friends?
many factors tried to impede my journey. in 48 hours, my laptop got fried, my car broke down and my cell phone temporarily broke. life was so much easier with a backpack on.
but, i broke my bad aura and jumped in the car eager for a weekend of good friends, new exploring and stiff drinks. it is funny how i live in ontario and visit toronto on a regular basis -- but i never go exploring. when i was a kid, i did all of the 'touristy' things, but haven't again since the infamous band trip of grade ten. i usually drop in to toronto on may way someplace else... to the cottage, to burlington, for cheap flights to europe. or, with the sole purpose of a party and catching up with friends. this occasion began in a similar manner: indian princess jessie bass-west was in toronto for a brief birthday celebration and i just couldn't miss out.
once i parked my car at my perma parking spot outside of steve john's house, i jumped on the subway. (what i would give for ottawa to have some decent public transportation!) for all you shoppers, fyi, there has been an european invasion at the eaton centre! zara, my oh-my-god-the-reason-to-go-shopping-in-europe-store, has joined the ranks of H&M and abercrombie & fitch. too bad i am dead broke. my backpacking-style adventure began when i tried to locate jessie at a pub at 800 king street east. about 40 minutes later i hit the dvp, and realized she has probably written 800 king street west. oops. jessie felt terrible, but i was refreshed! for the first time, i had actually walked in toronto. i never just walk here in canada. in europe, it would have been perfectly normal for me to walk an hour to get somewhere, but in canada, i complain over a 10 minute commute.
the evening was a blur of good food, dancing and catch-up visits with visiting jessie and other toronto folk. the following day, i continued my foot exploration of toronto in kensington market, queen street etc. i left toronto re-energized and balanced. not only had i re-connected with wonderful friends, (safe trip tomorrow jessie!) but i had also taken to the streets to see some of the beautiful cities that surround me. in canada, we may not have the extensive history or old architecture of europe, but we have plenty to discover.
over the next few months, i plan to fill my europe and iowa void by doing just that.
my whirlwind 3.5 month adventure to europe is finished.
my fairly random trip to iowa has recently passed.
and i am stuck in kingston attending the college of cut and paste.
so what better excuse than a road trip to toronto to catch up with some old friends?
many factors tried to impede my journey. in 48 hours, my laptop got fried, my car broke down and my cell phone temporarily broke. life was so much easier with a backpack on.
but, i broke my bad aura and jumped in the car eager for a weekend of good friends, new exploring and stiff drinks. it is funny how i live in ontario and visit toronto on a regular basis -- but i never go exploring. when i was a kid, i did all of the 'touristy' things, but haven't again since the infamous band trip of grade ten. i usually drop in to toronto on may way someplace else... to the cottage, to burlington, for cheap flights to europe. or, with the sole purpose of a party and catching up with friends. this occasion began in a similar manner: indian princess jessie bass-west was in toronto for a brief birthday celebration and i just couldn't miss out.
once i parked my car at my perma parking spot outside of steve john's house, i jumped on the subway. (what i would give for ottawa to have some decent public transportation!) for all you shoppers, fyi, there has been an european invasion at the eaton centre! zara, my oh-my-god-the-reason-to-go-shopping-in-europe-store, has joined the ranks of H&M and abercrombie & fitch. too bad i am dead broke. my backpacking-style adventure began when i tried to locate jessie at a pub at 800 king street east. about 40 minutes later i hit the dvp, and realized she has probably written 800 king street west. oops. jessie felt terrible, but i was refreshed! for the first time, i had actually walked in toronto. i never just walk here in canada. in europe, it would have been perfectly normal for me to walk an hour to get somewhere, but in canada, i complain over a 10 minute commute.
the evening was a blur of good food, dancing and catch-up visits with visiting jessie and other toronto folk. the following day, i continued my foot exploration of toronto in kensington market, queen street etc. i left toronto re-energized and balanced. not only had i re-connected with wonderful friends, (safe trip tomorrow jessie!) but i had also taken to the streets to see some of the beautiful cities that surround me. in canada, we may not have the extensive history or old architecture of europe, but we have plenty to discover.
over the next few months, i plan to fill my europe and iowa void by doing just that.
Sunday, August 20, 2006
scattered.
i had some free time today, and i started to catch up on the blogs of all my friends that are scattered all across the world. especially being in another university town, it really struck home that i will never again be in the same city as all of my friends.
i went for a run in ames (a really lovely university town an hour north of des moines) this morning, and i started reminiscing about how easy everything was. if i wanted a gossip-fest, i only had to go into the kitchen of 454 frontenac. if i needed some quality alyssa time, she was only a quick breakfast date away.
with erin in colombia, ginny in mexico, jessie in india, carolynn in london, kristin in france and many other lovely people in various wonderful countries, it will never be the same. not to say that the friendships will end, but the consistency, the convenience and the quantity of time will change drastically. all of this - which i never even thought of as luxuries until now - is replaced with expensive phone calls, quick e-mails and blogs.
i certainly don't resent all my friends for going out and seeing the world. in fact, it is what i plan to do myself when i graduate from teacher's college, but as we grow up and go on new adventures, we will settle all around the world. i always pictured erin, ktq, carolynn and i as little soccer mom's together (now wouldn't that be a sight?). but most likely, the four of us will never be living in the same city again!
aside from mising them, i am so proud of my friends for going out on their own. i will just have to get much better at writing e-mails!
i went for a run in ames (a really lovely university town an hour north of des moines) this morning, and i started reminiscing about how easy everything was. if i wanted a gossip-fest, i only had to go into the kitchen of 454 frontenac. if i needed some quality alyssa time, she was only a quick breakfast date away.
with erin in colombia, ginny in mexico, jessie in india, carolynn in london, kristin in france and many other lovely people in various wonderful countries, it will never be the same. not to say that the friendships will end, but the consistency, the convenience and the quantity of time will change drastically. all of this - which i never even thought of as luxuries until now - is replaced with expensive phone calls, quick e-mails and blogs.
i certainly don't resent all my friends for going out and seeing the world. in fact, it is what i plan to do myself when i graduate from teacher's college, but as we grow up and go on new adventures, we will settle all around the world. i always pictured erin, ktq, carolynn and i as little soccer mom's together (now wouldn't that be a sight?). but most likely, the four of us will never be living in the same city again!
aside from mising them, i am so proud of my friends for going out on their own. i will just have to get much better at writing e-mails!
Thursday, August 17, 2006
off again.
after being in canada for only a week (most of it spent at the cottage), i am off again on another adventure. i still have a few more posts to add on europe: one on paris, another on the crazzzy flight home, and another on what i miss about the continent. but for now, i must switch gears.
tomorrow morning, at some ungodly hour, i am flying to the american midwest. to be honest, i do not know what to expect from iowa. thanks to elena, i know there are over 93,000 farms in the state. i have also heard that the des moines airport is the biggest in iowa, and it only has TEN gates! i have never seen the canadian prairies, but i think that is what i picture - farm land that goes as far as the eye can see. jokes have included exploding cows and exploding cheerios, so i think i am in for quite the ride. lucky for me, i will also be able to attend the iowa state fair. i am sure no good will come of that!
more than anything, i am excited to be travelling again. i know that this is not a lifestyle that can be maintained by a girl who has not yet started to earn a living, but i feel most alive when i am seeing the world. twenty four hours after flying into ottawa, i was off to the cottage. and after a week there with lovely visits with all of our extended family, i am off again. staying in one place is comforting, but i am not ready to pick that place just yet. to paraphrase steinbeck, perhaps i cannot stop moving because i have not yet found all of my homes.
iowa may not have been my top vacation destination, but i am willing to go just about anywhere. i anticipate that this will be a vacation that blends excitement with huge amounts of corn.
tomorrow morning, at some ungodly hour, i am flying to the american midwest. to be honest, i do not know what to expect from iowa. thanks to elena, i know there are over 93,000 farms in the state. i have also heard that the des moines airport is the biggest in iowa, and it only has TEN gates! i have never seen the canadian prairies, but i think that is what i picture - farm land that goes as far as the eye can see. jokes have included exploding cows and exploding cheerios, so i think i am in for quite the ride. lucky for me, i will also be able to attend the iowa state fair. i am sure no good will come of that!
more than anything, i am excited to be travelling again. i know that this is not a lifestyle that can be maintained by a girl who has not yet started to earn a living, but i feel most alive when i am seeing the world. twenty four hours after flying into ottawa, i was off to the cottage. and after a week there with lovely visits with all of our extended family, i am off again. staying in one place is comforting, but i am not ready to pick that place just yet. to paraphrase steinbeck, perhaps i cannot stop moving because i have not yet found all of my homes.
iowa may not have been my top vacation destination, but i am willing to go just about anywhere. i anticipate that this will be a vacation that blends excitement with huge amounts of corn.
Wednesday, August 09, 2006
mussels in brussels.
brussels has an identity crisis. it is a city that is almost impossible to describe. it has one of the most beautiful central squares that i have seen in almost all of europe, but yet its main tourist attraction is a pitifully small statue of a small boy peeing. and if you ask the story of mannekin pis, no one seems to know.
for me, brussels was more of a culinary adventure than anything else. the city was beautiful, but it did not leave me inspired. the food, however, made the trip worthwhile. from mussels and frites, to belgium waffles, to chocolate so good it melts in your mouth. i do not think i have ever eaten so much in twenty four hours in my life!
one day was enough to see most of the main sites, but it was a good thing i left, to escape the calories!
for me, brussels was more of a culinary adventure than anything else. the city was beautiful, but it did not leave me inspired. the food, however, made the trip worthwhile. from mussels and frites, to belgium waffles, to chocolate so good it melts in your mouth. i do not think i have ever eaten so much in twenty four hours in my life!
one day was enough to see most of the main sites, but it was a good thing i left, to escape the calories!
Monday, August 07, 2006
had a great trip.
amsterdam is a VERY unique city. everyone rides their bikes, the stench of weed floods the air outside of 'coffeeshops' (or smart and/or energy shops as they like to call them) and prostitution is a legal, successful business. however, beyond all the usual fuss of the city being highly liberal, it is a beautiful city to wander in. brown cafes (bars) abound, cafe culture flourishes, and the web of canals and narrow houses create an atmosphere unlike any other european city.
the legalized prostitutes and drugs may bring many people to the city; but i was drawn to the vibrant culture, interesting city structure and observing the side effects one city's attempt at pursuing liberal policies.
first of all, i never felt that drugs were in my face. i never witnessed anyone smoking a spliff in a public location, i was never approached for a sale, and unless i was walking by a coffeeshop, i never would have noticed a difference. in canada, people had a field day when the government considered decriminalizing weed, yet, it seems to function in amsterdam quite appropriately. in fact, i have heard it is generally the tourists who get ridiculously baked and cause problems. it is something to think about anyway. could the same experiment work in north america? i think many people worry that having rules and laws is better than no rules at all. but, is it possible that young people would actually smoke LESS if they had no rules to break? is it the drugs, or breaking the rules that they are drawn to? i don't know the answers to these questions, i am simply putting them out there.
the red light district is entirely another story. i ventured out one night, curious to see what it was like for myself. again, other than a few sex shops, there is no way to tell that prostitution is legal UNTIL you reach the scuzzy district itself. quiet, quaint streets open up into two long streets, filled with sex shops and strip clubs crowded with gawking men. in fact, i was probably one of only a few women, all of which were tourists! red lit windows lined the streets and displayed prostitutes of all races and sizes, waiting for customers. if the curtain was closed, they were in business. to be completely honest, i kind of got a kick out of watching the whole thing. it did not feel real. it felt like i was on a film set! however, i happened to catch the eye of one of the working women through the window, and her face has stuck with me for several days. i couldn't help but wonder, what brought her to this place? did she feel degraded by her job? did she like her job? was she happy? was it worth it?
i only had 24 hours in amsterdam, and the other thing i had always wanted to see was the anne frank house. i read here diary in grade school, but have always been fascinated by holocaust history, having taken many classes at university. they have transformed the house where anne and her family hid for two years into a touching, simple museum. part of the bookcase which hid the staircase to their apartment is still original, as well as all the pictures she cut out of magazines to decorate her walls. of course, the rooms were mostly empty (the furniture having been reposessed shortly after their capture), but the walk through was a sobering one. eight people lived in this small hidden apartment for almost 800 days. i kept thinking that my life has been so easy in comparison. they could not go outdoors, make noise, or do anything that could attract attention. in short, they could not really be children. anne went through more fear in her short life than most of us ever will. it really struck a chord.
my short trip to amsterdam was a good one. i didn't see any cows falling from the sky, or creatures crawling out of the ground, as many people do, but i had a brief look into a reality very different from my own.
the legalized prostitutes and drugs may bring many people to the city; but i was drawn to the vibrant culture, interesting city structure and observing the side effects one city's attempt at pursuing liberal policies.
first of all, i never felt that drugs were in my face. i never witnessed anyone smoking a spliff in a public location, i was never approached for a sale, and unless i was walking by a coffeeshop, i never would have noticed a difference. in canada, people had a field day when the government considered decriminalizing weed, yet, it seems to function in amsterdam quite appropriately. in fact, i have heard it is generally the tourists who get ridiculously baked and cause problems. it is something to think about anyway. could the same experiment work in north america? i think many people worry that having rules and laws is better than no rules at all. but, is it possible that young people would actually smoke LESS if they had no rules to break? is it the drugs, or breaking the rules that they are drawn to? i don't know the answers to these questions, i am simply putting them out there.
the red light district is entirely another story. i ventured out one night, curious to see what it was like for myself. again, other than a few sex shops, there is no way to tell that prostitution is legal UNTIL you reach the scuzzy district itself. quiet, quaint streets open up into two long streets, filled with sex shops and strip clubs crowded with gawking men. in fact, i was probably one of only a few women, all of which were tourists! red lit windows lined the streets and displayed prostitutes of all races and sizes, waiting for customers. if the curtain was closed, they were in business. to be completely honest, i kind of got a kick out of watching the whole thing. it did not feel real. it felt like i was on a film set! however, i happened to catch the eye of one of the working women through the window, and her face has stuck with me for several days. i couldn't help but wonder, what brought her to this place? did she feel degraded by her job? did she like her job? was she happy? was it worth it?
i only had 24 hours in amsterdam, and the other thing i had always wanted to see was the anne frank house. i read here diary in grade school, but have always been fascinated by holocaust history, having taken many classes at university. they have transformed the house where anne and her family hid for two years into a touching, simple museum. part of the bookcase which hid the staircase to their apartment is still original, as well as all the pictures she cut out of magazines to decorate her walls. of course, the rooms were mostly empty (the furniture having been reposessed shortly after their capture), but the walk through was a sobering one. eight people lived in this small hidden apartment for almost 800 days. i kept thinking that my life has been so easy in comparison. they could not go outdoors, make noise, or do anything that could attract attention. in short, they could not really be children. anne went through more fear in her short life than most of us ever will. it really struck a chord.
my short trip to amsterdam was a good one. i didn't see any cows falling from the sky, or creatures crawling out of the ground, as many people do, but i had a brief look into a reality very different from my own.
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