the break-up.

i was speaking to a girlfriend today, who was venting about an unhealthy friendship. from the sounds of it, this friend of hers has an incredible toxic relationship with everyone in her life: she is rude, inappropriate, controlling and generally not nice. when my girlfriend told me that she has been putting up with this friendship for over five years, at first i was angry. this wasn't a balanced, healthy friendship at all! but i got to thinking, and realized that as difficult as it is to break-up with a boyfriend, it is probably more difficult to break-up with a friend. we just don't do it. it is almost taboo.

i have heard stories of people who have told a toxic friend that they can't be friends anymore, but i have never actually met anyone who has done this. when a child is in grade three, all bets are off: if they don't like someone, they don't hesitate to tell them right to their face. why is it that when we grow up so many girls put up with friendships that they don't even enjoy?

i am not encouraging hatred, but i want shy/timid girls to stop putting up with 'bullies' who call themselves girlfriends. and it is NOT just shy and timid girls who put up with toxic friendships. some women have such powers of manipulation that even other strong, outgoing girls have difficulty standing up to them. if these toxic individuals are not put in their place, they will continue to feed off others, treat them poorly and boost their own feelings of power and control in the process.

i have seen bullying in the schoolyard, and i have witnessed friends being bullied in relationships. neither of these is acceptable. but this 'queen bee' phenomenon extends past middle school. maybe these women believe they are just being outspoken, independent and strong? in reality, however, they need a swift kick in the butt.