paloma's affirmations of her life in mexico.

a spinoff of jessica's daily affirmations. if you're unsure, watch this video.

on the eve of paloma's departure to become a US citizen (yes, its true, some dogs are luckier then some people), we imagine these to be her thoughts on her life so far:

i love my sister kahla.
i love my special mama sarah.
i love my special mama sarah tambien.
i love my special mama ally.
i love my special mama elise.
i love my special papa damon.
i love my special mama megan.
i'm sure i would have loved my new special mama jess!
i wonder who that little dog was that was here for a month.
i LOVE MINE! (our maid)
i love the calzada! i love lying down on the calzada.
i love pooing when my special mama has no bag.
i love rubbing my nose in the grass at starbucks.
i love running away to the vet. i love running away in general.
i love the PEMEX guys. i love when they bark at me.
i love the cat that lives next door.
i love running at the dog park.
i love my enemy lily.
i love jumping up the wall. i love jumping on people to say hello. i love jumping in general.
i love being a lap dog.
i love tilting my head to one SIDE.
i love my new crate.
i love eating toast off the counter. i love eating plates of chicken off the counter. i love eating anything off the counter.
i love my WHOLE HOUSE on via savotino (insert clap here)
i will miss my OLD LIFE (mostly my sister kahla)

i can do anything good. i am proud to be a mexican street dog. yeah. yeah. yeah.
i am on my way to a new life.

the refrigerator.

monterrey, by some, used to be referred to as the 'refrigerator', because it was one of the safest places you could be in mexico. no more, it seems. coming back to monterrey, a city that i love, and seeing it like this, has been saddening.

first, of course, was the terrible damage done by hurricane alex. sadly, in canada, we did not get the full coverage of what was going on down here. there was tremendous damage done to infrastructure, two of the main thoroughfares and all of the businesses that had set up shop in the usually-dry river bed. the canyon by our school looks starkly different, and the road is completely washed out.

we moved this year to a new, state-of-the-art campus in santa catarina, on the other side of town. aside from my deep hatred of the morning commute, it has been a great experience to be in a new building, and be a part of the road bumps that come along with transition. however, our road bumps have gone beyond furniture and bulletin boards. on our third day of school, there was a shootout right outside our school grounds during dismissal. i won't go into details (you can just google it) but it was a harrowing experience. as a result of this, we have all become increasingly more aware of what is really going on in monterrey.

i don't really understand all of what is happening in these drug wars, but it makes me sad to think about how deep-rooted these issues are: corruption that could take generations to fix.

i should reassure you that my life here still feels very safe. today i ran errands and went to the gym. the mountains were clearer then they've been in a long while, so i went out and took pictures. i ordered sushi for takeout. we took the dogs for a walk. there were still lots of people at the mall, restaurants were full and traffic is still heavy and crazy.

when it rains, it always pours. and i know that this too will pass, and with time, my city of mountains will settle.

end of year visitor.

alyssa was just in monterrey for the week and i told her she could never leave! except... she did, this morning. even though the end of the year is a busy time, she just easily joined in and lived my life with me for the week! it was so amazing to have her here, to truly experience the day to day joys and struggles of living and teaching in mexico. we also were tourists extraordinaire, and literally did everything there is to do in monterrey.

just a few of the moments i don't want to forget:

*talking all evening at a picnic table in the mountains.
*taking a little walk up an almost dried up river-bed and spotting gigantic leeches, yuck.
*alyssa putting me to shame with her ability to inhale uber-spicy salsas.
*when i was stressed with marking, alyss made the BEST mini pizzas for dinner so i didn't have to cook!
*going to salsa class and actually going through the line of randoms since we didn't have partners.
*sharing more then one good solid cry.
*trying to find something to do in santiago, but realizing, there is really nothing to do in santiago!
*me being afraid my grandma taurus would not make it up over the mountains on our way out to camping.
*driving out into the canyon with kahla and going for a hike to watch the sunset.
*having her talk to my class about being a doctor. my kids screaming, ewww, yuck, cool!
*taking a long hike in chipinque and talking the whole way.
*getting all fancy and going to a rooftop bar for a mojito.
*helping her pick out her first pair of kum kum earrings!
*having alyss measure my long hair out before 14 inches were cut off in front of my entire class!

... and so much more.

thanks for coming to visit, alyss!

its true.

"...foreigness is intrinsically stimulating...an escape from the boredom and banality of the everyday. The mundane becomes superreal and experienced with an intensity evocative of the events of a true biography... living in a foreign country can evoke many of the emotions of childhood: novelty, surprise, anxiety, relief, powerlessness, frustration, irresponsibility."
-The Economist

travel advisory?

i'm not sure about canada, but mexico has been getting a lot of bad press recently in the united states. the violence going on between the drug cartels has gotten out of control in some of the border towns (not near me here, don't worry!) and governments have put travel alerts up for traveling down here. while there are definitely some places in mexico that i would definitely not go right now, i feel, in general, quite safe.

i read an article this week that put mexico's violence into perspective:

*mexico's murder rate is five times less then jamaica and half of brazil.

*when looking at the murder rate in latin america's most violent countries, honduras has a rate of 61 murders per 100,000 inhabitants while costa rica and mexico have 11.5 per 100,000 people. in comparison, washington dc has a murder rate of 31 per 100,000 and new orleans has a rate of 74 per 100,000.

*over the past 10 years, mexico's murder rates have been consistently dropping.

all this to say. mexico is a huge country with lots of very safe places to be. it is no more unsafe here then it is in many other large cities in the US.

don't worry about me!

Go Slow.

The motto of Caye Caulker is “go slow” and nothing could sum up this laid-back paradise better. We did not actually arrive very slowly – we almost missed our water taxi and were running with our suitcases to catch it – but we quickly fell into the rhythm of hippie island life. We were in Caye Caulker for about three days, and we did not do much at all except savor our remaining days in Belize.

Going slowly for us included:

-Lying by the pool in our cute little flower-filled courtyard at Seaside Cabanas
-Finishing a good read (The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo, in my case)
-Eating ice cream for lunch
-Going to a hotel (Iguana Reef) on the back of the island every evening, buying a drink, and watching the sunset (even if it was completely behind the clouds) with the melodious blackbirds singing their tune
-Walking down to the split and drinking a beer at a picnic table with our feet in the water
-Sitting for long breakfasts of fresh fruit and toast
-Mom and Auntie Diana getting up early, me sleeping an hour or two longer
-Mom and Auntie Diana going to bed early, me staying awake a couple of hours longer to chat with Fili
-Meeting our friend Pam from Vancouver everywhere that we turned
-Taking pictures of houses on stilts and funny signs around town
-Watching the other travelers arrive on the island, unaware of the bliss to come
-Laughing over a great bottle of wine at the island’s only Italian restaurant, Don Corleone
-Ordering copious amounts of mouth-watering seafood at Habanero’s (now up there with the best travel meals of my life), and still ordering dessert
-Smashing my crab legs with a metal hammer and cutting board – sweet relief!
-Walking barefoot on the sandy roads without cars
-Having the worst breakfast of my life at the Happy Lobster and not caring one bit
-Not going snorkeling when Mom and Auntie Diana did (I’m not good at saying no)
-Smiling as locals said good morning as they passed on their bikes
-Jumping in the ocean and getting salt up my nose

A quiet ending to a perfect two weeks. Memories with two of the best ladies in my life that I’ll remember forever. A country that is already calling me back.

Going Underground.

Monday and Tuesday were our last full days at the Lodge. Since we were on a package, we were given two more day trips that were included in our fixed price. My Mom and my Aunt are pretty adventurous ladies but they also have their limits. My mom had wanted to come river tubing since we had decided to come to Belize – apparently it is all the rage here. My aunt was pretty agreeable. I wanted to go on a raging caving adventure but we had to meet in the middle – part of the deal was that we had to go on the same excursions. So, after much deliberation we decided on two caving adventures. There are many caves in Belize because of the limestone rock that is prevalent there. Both were very different but each was unforgettable in its own way.

Caves Branch: Like I said, my mom had wanted to go river tubing since we had decided to come to Belize. When we asked for a description of this day-trip, we were told it would be ‘a relaxing float down the river with some moderate cave climbing’. Our expectations were blown from the very first moment. An ancient Belizean man named Mr. Buckley came to pick us up from Chaa. He was a tall man, with white hair and a white beard, dark skin, and he had a gift for storytelling. Before being a tour guide, he had been a member of the British Army, now he was a ‘retired’ guide slash Justice of the Peace slash driving historian. On his way through town he even stopped so we could see his house and his Guatemalan wife. He was not overly central to our cave experience, but he was by far the most interesting guide that we had while in Belize. There are only 5 highways in Belize: East, West, South, North and Hummingbird. We needed to get to the Hummingbird Highway for our adventures at Caves Branch. Caves Branch is actually also a hotel owned and operated by a Canadian named Ian Anderson. He owns the land where the caves are, so his company is the only one that can run tours. The hotel where we were put on a bus was a bit unnatural in our view – it felt like fabricated jungle. We boarded on old windowless school bus with a gaggle of annoying children who were seemingly given free reign to scream and shout. We were so far, not overly impressed. We were fitted with an inner tube, and immediately we heard the cackling laughter from a large gothic-dressed lady who I will be referring to as Bat Lady. Bat Lady thought it was hilariously funny that her husband’s enormous belly barely fit around the inner tube. We were deliberating – would it be worse to have Bat Lady or the annoying gaggle of children in our group?

As it turns out, the guide who had been driving our bus led our group. He looked young enough to be my son. We were given Bat Lady and her husband, but the kids went far in another direction. We hiked a few minutes until we reached the river and “gracefully” entered our inner tubes bottom-first. I am sure you can picture our gracefulness now!

We paddled for a few minutes down the river before we got to the mouth of the cave. We were given waterproof headlamps. What happened to the lazy river? We entered the darkness of the cave but due to the shallow waters we had to walk. What happened to the relaxing float? Our guide pointed out spiders and Bat Lady gave her ear-piercing shrieks, yet when our guide pointed out bats and grotesque bat droppings, Bat Lady spoke to them saying, “my children, my children”. I wanted to feed her to the bats to shut her up.

Our relaxing river float turned out to be quite a strenuous climb through caverns, leaving our inner tubes far below. I was worried my Aunt Diana was going to be severely regretting traveling with us for making her endure this, but she turned out to be the biggest adventure junkie of us all. She seemed very proud of herself and I am convinced she loved every second! We heard about the Mayans who used these caves long before us, and saw pottery remnants from their presence. We saw cave formations completely crystallized and other formations left from millions of years of drops of water. It was an entirely different world.

They set up a picnic in the middle of the cave, where our group (minus Bat Lady who was busy swimming with her non water-proof camera) socialized over make-your-own wraps. After, we explored a second cavern, our guide showing us an area that is believed to be a blessing in fertility due to the – ahem – fairly erotic shadows that the rock formation created.

Finally, we got to get back in our inner tubes, turned off our headlamps, and floated quietly (except for Bat Lady who refused to turn our her light and screeched the whole way) along with the current, and out of the cave. My Mom and Auntie Diana were on an adrenaline high all night from our deep dark adventure. I however, announced at dinner that I had thought of something positive about Bat Lady: she wasn’t staying at our hotel.

**

Barton Creek Cave: Our excursion to Barton Creek Cave was only a few hours - an hour drive in each direction and about an hour to paddle into the cave. Our guide, a nice guy who kept calling us “his girls” (my Mom lovvvved being called a girl!) drove us from Chaa Creek in the morning. On a map, it looks like arriving at Barton Creek should take about 15 minutes, but in reality, the roads are quite treacherous and it takes over an hour. The road definitely put our cottage bumpy road to shame!

The most interesting part of the ride was passing through a traditional Mennonite community. Belize has a large population of Mennonites, both traditional and modern. In fact, the more modern Mennonite communities literally feed the entire country of Belize. On the road to Barton Creek Cave live traditional Mennonites who use horses and buggies. The men had long beards and the women fully covered their bodies in long dresses and bonnets. The children mostly ran away from our car when we went by. I tried not to stare, but it is almost impossible not to.

The cave itself is on a property owned by a Canadian or American named Mike. Quite the life he and his family have – living very isolated lives deep in the valley next to traditional Mennonites. He charges a small fee, and has a small snack and drink bar. Fire ants immediately attacked Auntie Diana and I when we got out of the car, we must have stepped on their home by accident. They certainly are fierce little guys! Our next strange animal interaction was a monkey that lives on Mike’s property. I leaned down to say hello, and he crawled right into my lap – only to start nibbling on my ankle! It didn’t hurt, it actually scared me more then anything else. But I think I’ll stay away from monkeys from now on.

We got into canoes – the person at the back had the job of paddling and steering and the person at the front held the big powerful spotlights to light up our way. In my canoe, I was paddling and Auntie Diana was shining our way. Over the next hour we paddled just over a mile into the Cave, following the twisting and turning river as it flowed. It felt like we were in a sacred place, with high ceilings, towering rock formations and complete and utter silence. It should have been scary, but it wasn’t. The rock formations were breathtaking – the hidden underground felt more like a connection with heaven then the underworld. At one point, we had to meander the canoe carefully through spikes of rock that came down low to the river, and I even needed to lie back and paddle lying down at one of the lowest points. In this cave there were human remains found from the Mayans, as well as pottery – it is considered a living archeological site so you cannot get out of the canoes and any point.

The river apparently runs another 7 miles or so, but due to fallen rocks, it is impossible to pass in a canoe. So we turned around and headed out to the light again. It felt like a completely different cave when you looked at it from a different angle.

When we reached the light, we were left in awe of the two journeys into the underground.

Day by the Pool.

Sounds like a divine Sunday, right?

Not quite.

Day by the Pool day had no pool in sight.

The plan for Day by the Pool day was spoiled almost immediately when we woke up to a drizzly morning.

Followed by “isolated showers”.

Isolated over us.

We ate our breakfast under a palapa roof as the rain came down around us. We were impressed that the palapa roofs never leak!

The clouds got thicker.

Mom, always the optimist, believed they would clear. Hmm.

We resigned to jackets and umbrellas for a wet hike of the medicine trail. My flip-flops were truly flip-flopping and squishing around.

Next was a slippery hike to the river camp.

Was that a break in the sky? No, only a tease.

A guide told us if the leaf cutter ants are working hard in the night, we should expect rain. He also told us if the cattle lies down, we should expect rain. I didn’t believe him. Yet the day before we had seen an army of leaf cutter ants and ALL of the cattle were taking a snooze. He told us it was only a legend. But the rain kept coming down.

All of a sudden the spouts from the sky dried up and the birds began to chirp. I opened my computer to blog on the porch. I typed one word… and the rain came down again.

I ran for cover.

My mom and I went to the bar for a mojito and a shrimp basket.

Then booted it up the hill to the spa, because we had 1.5 hour massage appointments at the spa. ‘The Coma’ – the massage is called. Perfect to escape a rainy day. We were given a sarong, a cold glass of water, and we sat and looked at the flowers that adorned every corner in the spa. My massage was in a palapa hut on a grassy hill overlooking the jungle. My mom’s was in a cloth-covered balcony. As I went in, I heard the trickling rain stop. My masseuse was from Austria. She had lived in Belize for 3 years. She said we needed the rain, because the land was too dry. Hmmm. Not if it ruins my Day by the Pool we don’t!

After our massages, we were all dozy and cared a lot less about the rain, and a lot more about eating and having an early night to bed.

The massages had tricked us into forgetting about our Day by the Pool day. We were even secretly hoping it would rain again so we would have an excuse for another.

But I was still hoping that the leaf-cutter ants were taking a night off.

Survivor: Tikal Guatemala

Saturday, April 3, 2010
Day 7 of my adventures in Belize with Auntie Diana and Mom
Times are loose and approximate

6 AM: Annoying wake up knock. Diana has already been awake for hours. We’re not sure if she ever sleeps.

6:30 AM: Long lazy breakfast.

7:30 AM: We were supposed to be getting into the van, but breakfast was still not over. Mom and Auntie Diana (who don’t yet understand the Caribbean idea of time) are panicking.

8:00 AM: After a short 15-minute drive, we arrive at the Guatemalan border. Mom gets a nervous feeling in her stomach going through “customs” – should we claim the granola bars? Other then waiting in long lines, there is nothing to fear. We don’t even see Guatemalan authorities; the guide gets our passports stamped.

8:45 AM: Guide is speaking to us about Guatemala in a microphone but we cannot hear due to the loud gravel bumpy dusty highway we are barreling down. All we know about Guatemala so far is that the dust looks like snow and that many people like to travel in the back of a truck.

10 AM: We pull over to a little souvenir shop for a bathroom break. Auntie Diana has her most gleeful moment on the trip when she finds a pair of Columbia walking sandals for sale. You would think she had found God at that roadside stop. Most people are buying postcards and she buys a pair of American shoes.

11 AM: We arrive at Tikal National Park after our scenic view of Guatemala. We are surrounded by mostly Guatemalan tourists with large bottles of coke under their arms. Is there a party we were not informed about?

11:10 AM: Diana sees a mini-toucan. She can now leave Belize happy.

11:11 AM: We see the Ceiba, the national tree of Guatemala. A few minutes later we see spider monkeys and get some close-up pictures. All this excitement and not yet one Mayan ruin!

11:30 AM: We get a glimpse of one ‘small’ pyramid that has been excavated and then move on to see three more identical ones that are still mounds covered in trees, roots and grass. It is hard to imagine how an entire civilization can simply disappear into overgrowth. It is even harder to imagine how the person felt while discovering it.

12:00: Our guide speed-walks up a long hill and we get a taste of what the day will be like ahead. We are all dripping in sweat wondering what we have done to ourselves.

12:15 PM: We get our first glimpse of a Mayan skyscraper, Temple of the Jaguar, the home of (get this) Lord Chocolate or King Moon Double Comb.

12:30 PM: Our guide knows the hidden paths at Tikal, and keeps us away from the crowds. We see a typical Mayan home and bed (for nobility), and see the huge tree-filled valley below, which would have been a reservoir in Mayan times. He also knows the most picturesque views in the complex, and leads us there.

12:45 PM: We round a corner, our guide tells us to prepare our eyes, and we have a full view of the Gran Plaza below.

1:00 PM: We are given a break to explore, or eat a bag of chips (whichever you most desire). I climbed the ‘small’ temple, for views of the plaza and saw two beautiful wall masks – we also manage to squeeze in a bag of chips.

1:30 PM: We move on to the Lost World section of Tikal. We are told that this city would have reached a population of 100,000 and are beginning to understand that this won’t be a little walk in the woods. To put it into perspective, there are only just over 300,000 people who now live in all of Belize.

1:45 PM: We arrive at the most impressive temples in Tikal, temples IV and V. Since leaving, we are having trouble keeping them straight. One had a staircase that went straight-up, and even the guide said that he did not like to climb it. Everyone at the top looked like a pancake pasted to the wall, because the ledge is NOT wide. As you can imagine, we did not climb this one. However, my Mom and I did climb the second one which was a much more reasonable climb, and gave even more spectacular views overtop of the jungle canopy (with the other temples sticking out above!) We overcame our fear of Mayan skyscrapers and there were no more panic attacks to be had. Diana stayed at the bottom to guard our stuff and suntan.

1:55 PM: Our guide tells me horror stories of all the people who have fallen down the stairs. Thank goodness he didn't tell me before we climbed up.

2:00 PM: We hike through thick jungle (much of Tikal is yet to be explored) and were fed a meal of rice, chicken and vegetables. We even had Auntie Diana drinking a local beer! During lunch we see more monkeys, wild turkeys etc.

3:00 PM: We are finished our touristy shopping and back on the bus, drenched from the sun and exhausted from the hiking.

3:00-4:00 PM: I am a little fuzzy on the details, because I am sound asleep. I am sure Auntie Diana and Mom could add some great anecdotes here.

4:30 PM: Back across the border into Belize in about 3 minutes flat. This time Mom contemplates claiming the Guatemalan purses she purchased.

5:30 PM: Drinks, dinner and games at the bar await.

9:00 PM: We are all sound asleep, even Auntie Diana.

Wildly Civilized.

Thursday morning we got up and said adios to San Pedro, heading inland. We took a short plane ride to Belize City and were immediately picked up by a representative from the Lodge at Chaa Creek. My mother meticulously researched this perfect jungle lodge, and in this case, her (sometimes annoying) planning personality really paid off! The lodge is nestled on the banks of the Macal River, about 15 minutes from San Ignacio. We are right in the middle of the jungle, in the Cayo District of Belize, which is right on the border with Guatemala. At its widest, Belize is only 64 miles wide, making it an accessible size; but it is also diverse with ocean, jungle, mountain, forest and wetland (in fact, everything except desert).

When we got picked up, we were driven quickly through Belize City. Apparently it is a gritty city, with gang and drug activity. Not the kind of place you want to get stuck in the wrong place at the wrong time! Our guide said that even locals drive quickly at night with all their doors locked. In Belize City there is clearly a safe and rough side of the tracks, as they say. On the way to our jungle lodge, included in the transfer, is a stop at the Belize Zoo. However, this is not your average zoo – it is the loveliest little zoo in the world. The animals are ALL native to Belize, and they are in their natural habitat. The animals are only in the zoo if they were injured, found (for example, if they had been kept as pets) or born there. An American lady named Miss Sharon started the zoo, quite by accident. She came down to Belize to help with a documentary on animals, and when the project was abandoned she was left with animals in her care. She realized that Belizeans did not know enough about their own wildlife species, so she started the zoo for educational purposes. We were taken around by a knowledgeable guide, and were taught all about the animals native to Belize, but Miss. Sharon’s signs are adorably hand-painted with rhymes, explaining the risks of endangerment of the various species. Normally at zoos I feel uncomfortable with the treatment of the animals, but this place is certainly one-of-a-kind. Highlights included the jaguars, paca…

About an hour after leaving the zoo, we had entered the Maya Mountains and arrived in San Ignacio. We got a little tour (particularly noticing the above-ground graves) and learned about the monopolies that exist in Belize. One man owns the only company that manufactures toilet paper in Belize as well as the only company that imports canned goods – they say he has people coming in and going out! We drove along a bumpy road, advertised by our driver as our “free massage” for the day, and arrived at the Chaa Creek Lodge. This lodge has won a myriad of awards – and for good reason! Ti is like going to fancy jungle camp! The grounds are beautifully manicured, the little cottages are tastefully decorated, and there are shades of luxury with the new infinity pool and jungle spa. The lodge began in the 70s when a young couple were traveling in Belize and were offered to buy a cheap piece of jungle land. At first they started a garden, selling their produce in San Ignacio by paddling it down-river. Then, as travelers began hearing about them, they would come down and stay in their single guesthouse. Eventually, they began to expand and haven’t stopped. There are an innumerable amount of day trips that can be arranged through the lodge and their all also a ton of activities on sight that are included.

Our first afternoon, we settled in – I ran straight for the hammock on our deck. We ate a fresh lunch, explored the grounds, read all the literature about the onsite activities and off-sight adventures, walked down to the river, ate a five-course meal (my first jerk-style seafood), and finished off the evening with a dice game in our little palapa cottage. The next day, our first full day, we stayed onsite – we took advantage of the guided tours that are ALL included. We went up to the butterfly farm (a brilliant blue morpho species that is used for education), explored the little museum, spent the afternoon reading by the pool (a few too many families for a teacher trying to escape kids!) and ended the day with a guided sunset canoe ride. Mom and Auntie Diana are loving the morning birding, while I am loving the chance to sleep in and go to bed early! There is something for all.

This place is like camp for grown-ups, except with better food, and oh yah - we’re in the jungle in Belize. Pretty perfect.

luxury in flipflops.

when thinking about what to call this blog, my first from belize, there were a few suggestions from my mom and auntie diana:
-"you betta belize it" (immediately ridiculed)
-"no shirt, no shoes, no problem" (sounds like jamaica)
-"last night i dreamt of san pedro" (madonna apparently wrote la isla bonita about san pedro, the town we are staying at on ambergris caye)
-"be one with belize" (tag line on their official website)
-"la isla bonita" (aren't all caribbean islands beautiful?)

luxury in flip flops was a little sign we saw above a little beach bar, and it was so fitting for the experience we have had here so far. belize, in our first few days, has been a beautiful mix of casual and luxurious. i know i teach my kids to really dig deep into their stories, and tell their experiences from the inside - but for the sake of time, i'm going to summarize. (don't tell my fourth graders)

flip flops: walking across the border from mexico to belize! while i was walking, kids were even jumping off the bridge into the river. VERY casual border! my mom and my aunt flew into belize via miami, but it was a little more difficult for me from mexico. for some reason, there are no flights from mexico to belize so i had to fly to chetumal, take a taxi to the border, walk across the bridge and find another taxi. i was quickly informed that taxis in belize have green license plates. i found one pretty quickly and he took me, swooping me through security in a second or two. unfortunately, i paid the man his most luxurious salary of the week when i accidentally mis-read my american money and overpaid him quite significantly. i didn't realize until getting to san pedro that my big bill was gone. BIG oops.

luxury: our first meal at fido's grill, advertised for its 5 star food at 2 star prices (i would agree!) i got my first taste of seafood for the holiday, huge delicious shrimp cooked in coconut milk. the rice was delicious, also cooked in coconut milk. de-lish-us. the ambience was incredible, a huge palapa-style restaurant overlooking the ocean. for my first night in belize, i thought i'd died and gone to heaven. we found out later that fido's is also a nightclub, but it didn't feel like it over dinner.

flip flops: for lunch we ventured down to the main part of san pedro town, to a little diner called estel's dine by the sea. when you first find it, you can't really tell the difference between the beach and the restaurant! when you walk inside, the sand continues, and the entire menu is written in chalk at the back of the place, surrounded by odd antiques and collectibles. i was worried that it was a bit too much for my mom and my aunt diana, but they were troopers! if this had been a backpacking trip, i know i would have been eating there *often* (as estel's is definitely catering to the budget minded traveller... aka me without my mom)

luxury: i had read in lonely planet that one of the best restaurants in belize was up on the north island, at a small resort called capricorn. so, we booked a personal water taxi pick-up and were taken up island to a gorgeous outdoor restaurant, framed by white lights and gardens. the food (everyone had fresh fish) was melt-in-your-mouth and the atmosphere even more divine. it felt like our own little private paradise. today, when i biked up island, i found the capricorn resort again - this time in the daylight. it doesn't have quite the same magic feel when you can see the seaweed in the water, and there are kids doing construction on the dock flailing chainsaws around! over lunch, i proceeded to tarnish our luxury by spilling balsamic vinegar down the front of my bathing suit cover-up. i certainly felt the luxury fading, but only because of me!

flip flops: san pedro in general has a very laid-back vibe. i've been told that caye caulker is even slower, which means they must be pretty much standing still! ladies come by every evening and sell sweet bread on a bike. golf carts and bikes are the primary means of transportation for tourists (and locals). the water gets cut off fairly often and no one really blinks an eye. people walk barefoot. signs are all hand-painted. no one pressures to sell you things - they offer, and then move on. reservations are approximate. a belize cold-front is even laid-back: what we are experiencing now is actually referred to as belizian snow! (ie: we're not melting, there's a bit of wind, and in the evening i need a sweatshirt)

luxury: on monday morning, we went on a three hour snorkeling trip. belize is known for is world-famous barrier reef, one of the best in the world. we were picked up bright and early, outfitted in gear and then thrown into the water. but we were not left to explore the reef alone, we were given a guided snorkel tour! our guide was willie, a belizian who doesn't like to get wet. he pointed out everything along the way, and in an hour i saw more fish and sea-life then i have seen in my whole life! after the first stop, which was the hol chan marine reserve, we were taken to shark ray alley. we were greeted by nurse sharks, but when we actually got in the water, the sharks steered clear of us (i was, sheepishly, quite happy not to see them) but we were completely surrounded by HUGE stingrays! the currents were strong, but my aunt diana and i ventured a bit far from the boat and ended up seeing a creepy green eel and a black shark (luckily swimming in the other direction!!). it was the best snorkelling that i have done in my life. we truly saw plenty of fish!

flipflops: yesterday we went on a day trip to lamanai, a mayan ruin in the north of belize. only, to get there, we had to go on quite the adventure. we started out with an hour long bumpy roller-coaster boat ride, which would not have given anyone their sea legs, if they were missing them! we were splashing through the ocean, with no idea where the lifejackets were, let alone dry land. at one point, albeit once we had arrived on much calmer river, willie jumped up and started steering with his foot! after a local breakfast on the river of johnny-cakes and fruits, we were shuttled onto a school bus decorated for a jesus-loving school. kinda weird. the rest of the day included an informative river boat tour to the ruins, where our guide pointed out a mennonite community and various flora and fauna of interest; he then followed up with a great tour of the ruins themselves. my mom and i climbed the tallest structure, only to be gripped with fear about how we would get back down. we took bum steps all the way, like big babies! at the end of the day, we went back the way we had come: river boat, jesus bus, bumpy boat. an incredible day, but not for the faint of heart.

so? its been five days in belize so far its been a great mix, probably a little more heavy on the flip flips then the luxury, which suits me just fine. we're leaving the caye tomorrow and heading inland. am i a bit sad to leave the beach? but excited for the jungle lodge adventure to come?

you betta belize it.

march 27, 2010, 8:30-9:30.

clue.

she'll guard it with care,
in her personal lair.
even though you think its unfair,
you'll find your gift there!

listen to me!

stop:

-whispering under your breath.
-tapping your pencil against your desk.
-crumpling and rolling the edges of your papers.
-stapling compulsively, instead of just once. chk! chk! chk!
-adding a soundtrack to every lesson and every quiet work period.
-getting up to blow your nose.
-speaking to your friends through a roll of the eyes.
-the sound of saliva while you are eating your shirt.
-shouting OUT.
-complaining with your voice like a nails on a chalkboard.
-shuffling your feet with impatience, swa, swa.
-pushing your chair back.
-asking me for help. (when you don't need it)
-turning the pages of your book every second because i know you can't read that fast.
-forcing me to scream.

instead
listening to me would be nice.

i wonder...?

what makes kids look like their parents?

what makes the wind blow?

when does space end?

how do bridges stay up?

how was the first color made?

why does gravity work?

why do people break laws?

how do you direct a movie?

how much is a gazillion?

how many hairs are on my head?

why do some people sleep heavy and some people sleep light?

why do i need so much sleep?

how do you become a seat filler at the oscars?

what do dogs think about their owners?

why does lattice multiplication work?

why does scaring someone get rid of the hiccups?

what makes airplanes not fall out of the sky?

how does it feel to be a mom?

why does food taste so good? and so bad?

homesick.

well, its about hour six of sitting on the couch feeling homesick for my country. today i've been completely absorbed in television. i don't usually watch tv, but with the US-Canada hockey game, and then the closing ceremonies, i've been completely entranced.

i'm watching the coverage on an american channel, but even the stories of the american athletes are making me teary-eyed! i should be grading papers but instead i am thinking about how much i wish i was at home to party with everyone after the amazing canadian win this afternoon. i've also been trying to cook, but so far it has only resulted in a very burn pot of chickpeas and an overdone cake. i always thought i was a good multi-tasker but i think that cooking falls to the back-burner (quite literally), when i'm missing home (or pretty much when i'm doing anything else).

international living can be so incredible for the new cultural experiences and incredibly diverse people that i meet; but nothing can compare to home. watching the athletes come pouring in, and being so proud to be canadian, i felt so far away. i love that canada isn't afraid to poke fun at itself, and that people know how to party over a hockey game, and that they aren't afraid to be cheesy. instead i am drinking a beer, pretending to mark, and crying over my burnt cooking and my amazing country.

on a more positive note, fili took me on an adventure yesterday to find used tires for big red. we went all over the city. he took me to the street where all the stolen car parts are sold. he said that if anyone ever steals a side mirror off your car, you can come to this particular street and buy your own mirror back! since i wanted used tired, we didn't actually have success, but we found a few people who said they could order us some (or steal? not sure...!) and the weirdest part? none of it is illegal! everyone knows that the car parts are stolen, but it seems to be completely accepted.

fili promised me that my future tires will be legally acquired.!

camp out.

sometimes you need to get away. and sometimes you need to run away.

preferably to the middle of nowhere!

this weekend, i did both. fili and i took the opportunity to get away. he found this hotel/resort/convention center about 45 minutes from monterrey, on our little man-made lake, which rents little spots for camping. in the summer, i can imagine it being an AMAZING place to get away from the city. it has some great facilities to distract you for a long summer's day: slides, wave pool, tennis etc. unfortunately for us, nothing was open! and, everything that was open was not included in the price of admission. the camping spot was perfect for us. no one was around, we had our own bbq pit, and there was clean bathrooms and showers. we couldn't get out of paying extra to use the facilities (even though they were slightly run down AND none of them were actually open) so we took advantage by exploring and using the indoor pool.

the camping was perfect. it didn't feel like we were in the middle of a resort. it was quiet, and we were able to enjoy a delicious carne asada, prepared perfectly by fili. there's something about camp food that just tastes comforting, like canada. we arrived in good time on saturday night, in time to explore all the facilities we couldn't use and meet a group of seniors from canada, who were at this resort for TWO weeks. let me repeat that: two weeks. i don't mean to be rude, but there are probably a million nicer resorts that these seniors could have chosen ALL over the world but they chose a 70s style resort with nothing open on the banks of a man-made river! they must have given them a sick sick deal. i spoke with one nice lady from toronto who was pretty positive about it saying, "well, its okay, the walk from the room to the pool is a little hilly, though".

once we used all the free facilities, and found out that bikes and tennis rackets weren't included, we decided to continue our adventure and visit the touristy cola de caballo (horse tail falls) that were nearby in santiago. in my three years here, i have only heard pathetic reviews of the cola de caballo falls. people said it wasn't anything to write home about. well, here i am, writing home about it! i thought they were great! i mean, they aren't the niagara falls or anything - but they are beautiful. first you had to get through some tacky t-shirts and a few people selling litro drinks (basically anything alcoholic you could want sold in a HUGE cup). i easily avoided the tacky t-shirts but had more trouble getting past the litros. when we got to the falls, perhaps since i had been expecting a spout of water, i was pleasantly surprised! i'll post a few pictures soon. the highlight was venturing past the top of the falls into the forest above the falls. there is a sign saying you are hiking at your own risk, but is there any other way? lately, it feels like everything in life is at your own risk. we felt like we were explorers, going where no one had gone before: except for garbage dump everyone had left behind. next to the cola de caballo, there is a lovely hotel and bungee jump (a strange combo?). sometime i definitely want to jump, but the time didn't seem right just yet.

after finishing up at the falls, we treated ourselves to the best ice cream place in the region, helados regia and headed back into town. back to the middle of everywhere, back to life.

a great weekend that reminded us of all the amazing outdoors experiences there are in and around monterrey. we just have to look a little harder. since getting home, i was supposed to be marking math tests, but i ended up scouring the internet for the next camping adventure.

13.1

"dear running: i'd like to thank you for giving my fiance a tight ass" - random guy with sign.

"tough cookies never crumble" - t-shirt of the girl running directly in front of me.

"13.1? 26.2? all of you are fucking crazy!" - another random guy with sign.

"i've never liked crowds anyway" - a sign for all of us closer to the back of the pack.

"what the hell have i gotten myself into?" - my thoughts when i crossed mile 7 and realized i still had to almost DOUBLE what i had already done.

i ran my first half marathon yesterday. it was in austin, texas, on valentine's day. 13.1 miles, or 21 km. if you didn't know, its really far. really really far. its not that far for the people that run it in an hour and a half. but for people like me, it takes all morning! i signed up for it a few months back as an excuse to get in shape. and truthfully, i wasn't ready. not for the full distance. the first 15 km were really good. i felt strong, i felt in control, i felt good about life! this one guy who was cheering tapped his finger to his temple as i passed, as if to tell me, your power is all up there. i believed him! until, then, all at once, it hit me. my knees started to ache, and the hills started to come. and i had to start walking. i didn't walk tons, i interspersed 2 or 3 minutes of walking with 5 minutes of running, but i still felt great because people around me were all doing the same.

i didn't train for speed or a particular time, in fact i didn't really train at all. i wanted to see if i could do it. and i did. it is a very empowering feeling! and i realized that since i could do it - without killing myself - that the next time i will build up to it, so the last 5 km aren't such a shock to my system.

i was so proud of myself when i ran across the finish line, but sadly, there was actually no one there to greet me! i had just run for 2 hours and 58 minutes, and i ended up getting my cute t-shirt and eating a bag of chips alone. a party for one. i had come with some people, who had all been running, and i don't know anyone in austin. it all felt pretty anticlimactic, and then, the day went downhill from there. i won't go into details, but all i can say is that life never lets you be happy for too long, it needs to balance you out with some shitty-ness to go along. the incredible vibe and high from my race definitely got overshadowed. i'll have to go back next year to experience it all again.

i feel an extreme sense of pride for running and completing; but it is also paired with a deep sadness and sense of loss. a mix that my mind can't really comprehend.

anyway. i'm back in monterrey now. there's another half in monterrey in april. dearest running, do i dare take you on again?

today i.

today i couldn't get out of bed until 7, and had to be at school at 7:25.

today i arrived at school at 7:33.

today i braided my hair, which i never do.

today i got frustrated with a student, and yelled at him in front of the class.

today i got frustrated with some teachers, but kept my mouth shut.

today i learned that peanuts are a legume.

today i taught my students about the underground railroad when we were supposed to be discussing poetry.

today i didn't know the answers to 5 questions my students asked.

today i told my kids that mr. google could help them find the answers.

today i felt freezing cold in my house for the first time in several weeks.

today i wrote a long e-mail to my mom.

today i drank a beer after school.

525 600 minutes.

last year, on this date, i met fili. i went to a language night at a local cafe in the barrio. i didn't really feel like going. in fact, my first impression of fili was one that had me laughing for quite awhile! after telling him about my mediocre spanish, he responded, "maybe we could speak the language of love?" on that night, i never thought i'd still be talking to him a year later!

so, after a year with fili, i started thinking about how his presence in my life has changed mine:

-i'm a lot more appreciative of monterrey, and of mexico in general. he absolutely loves his city, and loves showing it to me, and exploring it with me. he often reminds me to find beauty in this city when i'm forgetting to.

-his loyalty to his family, and to his daughter is a constant priority reminder for me. he puts the people he loves first, and gives his time and his heart to them with such ease.

-he's a romantic. and its made me more romantic.

-he's driven work-wise. when i'm complaining about work, he is happily doing his! when i'm desperate to take a day off, he reminds me (tactfully, of course) that i do love what i do.

-he's taught me to appreciate (but not always get) sarcasm!

-for a long time, i always needed to be doing 'something'. he showed me that fancy expensive dinners are not the only way to spend quality time together.

to celebrate our year, fili took me to see the musical 'rent' in spanish, and then we went back to the cafe where we met. a year later we're not exactly speaking the language of anything - its kind of a fusion between english, spanish and yes, love.

raisons d'etre.

i am reading an amazing book. it is called extremely loud and incredibly close. or incredibly loud and extremely close, something like that. the main character is a quirky bizarre kid who thinks about things in way that has inspired me to write more. the author, jonathan safran foer, has a way of giving this kid the most unique voice that i have ever heard in recent literature.

anyway. i am in playa del carmen this weekend with my housemate sarah. sarah is leaving mexico next year, and we realized that we wouldn't get another chance to travel together, so here we are. she also needed a little break from heartbreak, so here we are again.

it is currently cloudy and a bit drizzly so i have come to a little cafe to do some work... of course work has turned into chatting with my boyfriend fili on facebook and blogging. i'm definitely not at risk of becoming a workaholic. we are staying at a pretty no frills hostel. in fact, the website honestly states, "if you want luxury, DO NOT STAY HERE". they definitely did not lie. but for 20 bucks a night (including a great breakfast), i'm not complaining. i think sarah and i are both realizing that we are on the edge of wanting to hostel anymore. but our bank accounts tell us differently!

there is an expression in french, raisons d'etre, meaning "reasons for being". this quirky character in extremely close and incredibly loud (or the opposite) is constantly talking about his raisons d'etre, for example, making sure his mother doesn't get hurt. this got me to thinking that i haven't thought lately about my raisons d'etre. isn't it great when a 9 year old fictional character teaches you something.

a few of my raisons d'etre:

getting close to my family again, to make up for the terrible mess i made in high school/university
loving fili and being loved in return
traveling the world so i can constantly be reminded that there is more to it then just me
getting over depression/anxiety and helping others to also see the glass half full
teaching kids that the best best learning happens far far from a textbook and that school can - and should - be fun
to infect others with laughter and happiness
figuring out my true raisons d'etre, because i don't think i've found nearly all of them yet