Tuesday, December 26, 2006

joyeux noel.

happy boxing day, folks. today i watched the most beautiful christmas movie i have ever seen. 'joyeux noel' tells the (loosely based on a true story) story of a christmas eve during world war one where french, german and scottish troops come out of their trenches to no man's land to shake hands with enemies, bury the dead, play music and play soccer. the story is simple, moving and completely encapsulates the meaning of christmas.

aside from coming down with strep throat, my christmas was splendid. a long sleep-in followed by the most delicious brunch eventually led to present opening. (we are in no rush in the fleming household!) the evening featured a dinner table of 15 spilling into the living room, charades and more present-opening. a few moments that made it even more memorable:

1. my granny telling a story (over appetizers) about how her prosthetic breast floated away from her while swimmming with a babe in arms. she proceeded to ask her gentlemen companion to 'fetch her breast'...

2. when many would not, my 90 year-old granny rose to the challenge and acted out the 'amazing race' during charades. i was dearly worried that she would never rise out of the ready, set position!

3. me clapping after my dad's sermon at the 7 o'clock children's service on christmas eve. apparently we don't really clap after sermons. people generally clap after speeches, and performances, why not sermons??!

4. my brother and i sneezing a collective 20 times during church.

5. my aunt successfully acting out 'the happy hooker' during charades.

6. my brother modelling his new 'sexy' boxer shorts for the entire extended family.

i hope you all had a lovely christmas with loads of joy and jolly. AND, that you made the wise decision to avoid the crowds on boxing day. the christmas season cannot be rejuvenating and relaxing if we are back to fighting over parking spots 12 hours after our turkey dinner!

peace and love to all.

Sunday, December 17, 2006

that's the spirit.

the other day my associate teacher mentioned that she felt that the 'magic' of christmas has become overshadowed with last minute shopping sprees, busy social calendars and stress. i realized that i couldn't remember the last time that i had enjoyed the preparations for christmas. particularly during my undergrad, exams always took priority over the holiday cheer. for the past five years, i have woken up after exams and realized that i had four days left until christmas! i missed walks in the snow, decorating the tree, shopping without the rush and having the time to actually enjoy the season. christmas passed in the blink of an eye.

working in a school was the first thing that changed it all for me this year. it is impossible NOT to get into the spirit of christmas when kids start talking about santa on december first. their eyes light up when we read holiday stories (we now read stories about hanukkah, christmas, kwanzaa etc), and they make it impossible to have any semblance of learning with their minds wandering to visions of sugar plum fairies and new ipods. teachers started wearing classic "teacher" sweaters with cabins, reindeer and mistletoe embroidered across their front. note: in case you haven't already guessed, i will never be caught dead in a "teacher" sweater. i can't even bring myself to wear holiday earings. they won't match my power suits!

the icing on the christmas cake was this weekend. my whole family was home and we spent friday night decorating the tree and listening to classic holiday cd's. saturday was present wrapping (with christmas movies on, of course) and sunday was baking and christmas cards. for the first time in my short life, i am almost ready for christmas and the day is still a week away! i now have SEVEN full days to soak up the magic of this time of year.

this evening i attended a christmas party a friend's house. the decorations, the conversation, the food -- everything was planned to put us in the christmas mood. driving home, i couldn't remember the last time i had felt this happy and appreciative about a holiday.

i can't wait to wake up tomorrow morning and try to focus on my job. ooops. in the midst of all this christmas spirit, i have kind of forgotten about my job. maybe the kids will be too excited to notice.

Monday, December 11, 2006

nothing but the truth.

kids say the darndest things. they really do. my days are continually made brighter by their witty remarks, completely unbeknownst to them. obviously i laugh with them, at them... even behind their backs. but they can never know how hilarious i really think they are. how would they ever take my discipline seriously when they know i am laughing inside?

for example, as i am trying to teach a very very serious lesson (can you pictures it?) on patterning, this kid finds tape and creates a mustache for himself. speaking in a british accent, he says, "hello, i am king arthur..." WHAT? where do they get these things? caught somewhere between anger at the interuption and genuine glee that he has actually heard of a major historical figure, i simply continued the lesson and took the tape away. i turn back around for a few minutes, and these kids have found more tape and have created beards for themselves as well and suddenly i am in a room of old british generals. it was literally impossible to keep a straight face. this morning, to show that i could play their game -- i wrote on the board, and turned around with my own masking tape mustache. it was quite the fashion statement, let me tell you.

i have another kid who lies directly to my face. and to every other face in the building. his lies are so bad that it is almost flabbergasting. picture something along the line of this: you watch a child take a book and put it into his backpack. when you explain later that you are looking for the book, the child searches frantically along with the others and when approached he answers in the most innocent voice, "no miss fleming, i haven't seen it..." logic, truth and honesty mean nothing to this kid. he downright lies ALL the time! he wouldn't even begin to change his story until i took his bag to look for myself... and after that the story would take on a life of its own. seriously, this was not the way it was for me! i once lied to my parents right to their face (after being caught swiping a twenty from my mom's purse when i was 7) but i broke down after about 30 seconds. these kids can make up quite the scenarios, and go on for days!

other moments of note:

1. to a non-pregnant teacher while poking her tummy: "is there a baby in there?"

2. catching the kids passing a note asking, "do you even like so-and-so? she is in gred too"

3. child: "miss fleming, are you married?"
me: "no."
child: "why?"
me: "because i haven't found the time yet"
child: "well, you look like you should be married"

4. during lunch:
my class: "miss fleming, can we play the quiet game?"
me: "what is that?"
my class: "we are really quiet and you tell us if you hear voices"
me: "gee, let me think..." (of course, they will ALWAYS have my permission to play the quiet game)

5. during shared reading:
me: "can anyone tell me a fact about animals?"
kid: "turtles are faster than chickens"
me: "at what?"
kid: "at life"

6. in jk/sk:
me: "can anyone tell me about the letter b?"
kid raising his hand, about to explode with excitment: "well... it is.... well.... on the weekend, i went to grandma'sand she gave me a dollar and then i had a sleepover in napanee and mom said that i couldn't eat more cake and in the summer i want to go swimming."

Sunday, December 10, 2006

bad day.

i have never been one who relishes in other people's misery, but if you happen to be, then this is your post. my day yesterday was certainly one for the books. there was not simply one terrible, awful, no-good thing that contributed to my very bad day (did you notice my reference to classic children's literature?), but an accumulation of small things that led me to believe that i should spend the rest of my day lying in bed, without risk of causing greater harm to anyone who came into my wake.

i woke up with good intentions. i read the newspaper in bed and got up at a reasonable time, pumped to head for the gym. when i went out to my car (which i park at my next door neighbours house because they have a second house elsewhere in the world) there was a *lovely* note on my car from the mrs. asking me to please offer them access to their driveway. now, in theory, this is not something that would usually bother me. most people prefer to have access to their own driveways! however, a few days earlier i had spoken with the mr. who had said it would be fine. in fact, i was under the impression that they liked it (particularly when they were out of the country), because it gave the impression that someone was home. this, however, was not the first note that i have had the priviledge of finding under my windshield. every time they come home, they write a note to the "owner of the car" demanding that it be moved. then, i take the time to sort it out with them. believing that i am permitted to use the driveway again, i park away for the months they are gone and whenever they return to canada i am lucky enough to find another note. does this family have substantial memory loss? how can they NOT know whose car it is when it has always been mine in the past? if they don't want me to use their driveway when they are home - that is fine - but a little politeness never hurt.

on the way home from the gym my water bottle burst in my gym bag essentially ruining my little black book of addresses/lists/notes. i love inky pens but in this case i was not in love with the inky mess on every page.

next, i decided to run a quick errand to buy a christmas gift for a family friend. on the way out of the store i picked up a nail polish to look at, and the plastic wrapper slipped off. as if in slow motion, the RED nail polish dropped to the floor, smashed into a million itty bitty little pieces covering my new pants, the store floor and a huge display of products with a bloody massacre. in my attempt to clean up i also cut my finger. what a sight for the customers coming into the store. somehow i got out of the mess without having to pay a cent. i am still not sure how i managed that one!

at this point it wasn't even 1PM. i return home to my father who has gone christmas shopping for andrew. fittingly he purchased an item for my brother that i had JUST purchased for my father the day before! i didn't even have the energy to care.

i tried to watch CSI but the tape stopped half way through the episode. now it was simply hilarious.

completely defeated, midway through a CSI episode i conceded defeat to the day and fell into my bed ready to fall asleep for the night. too bad it was still only 3PM.