i always said i'd never...

there aren't a million things that i've said i would never do. only a few thousand! what can i say? i'm generally a fairly easy-going gal. there are, however, many things that i certainly thought that i would never do. since becoming a real person, moving to mexico and becoming a teacher, many of those "i would never ever do that!" have become huge reality checks for me. who was i to be so bold and naive and demand perfection from everyone around me? and to believe that i could do it better myself? just a few things i have been kicking myself for lately.

*i used to get so pissed at my dad for being an impatient driver, who always swore under his breath. now i can't go two blocks in mexico without encountering idiot number 1, 2, 3 or 830 and muttering sweet nothings under MY breath.

*i never thought i'd embarrass a kid in front of the class. but i'm realizing, that sometimes, a mild form of embarrassment, happens naturally each time you get angry. PLUS, i was totally that teacher who ripped up a test when i caught a boy cheating today! sometimes i actually find myself using mild embarrassment on purpose, because for some kids, i am shit out of ideas.

*i never thought i'd punish the whole class when only a few are being bad. this is something i am still searching for a solution to. i remember, in elementary school, i would have to write lines, or have detention, even when i hadn't participated. i remember telling my mom, i will become a teacher to make this this doesn't happen anymore! BUT, when you actually are a teacher, it is almost impossible to figure out exactly who has been misbehaving. i have a warning system for individuals, but in the end, i always remind them that they are a 'team'.

*i never thought i'd stay home from work for a 'mental health day'. my mom always pushed and pushed herself - and here i am saying i'm burnt out two years into teaching!

*i never thought i'd take a masters degree in education. but what can i say? when i was offered it for half the price, it is difficult to turn down. now i am the teacher who doesn't know if she should be teaching working on a thesis on how to teach better. hmm. that seems a bit odd.

*i never thought money would matter to me. i live in a very wealthy suburb of monterrey, mexico, surrounded by fancy restaurants, jewelry stores and fashionable people who live a VERY comfortable, luxurious life. after being immersed in it, it is hard not to want it yourself!

next... i'm thinking of including the opposite, what i always thought i would have done by now!