01.01.11

its actually not 01.01.11 anymore, it is somewhere in the wee hours of 01.02.11 but i'm not counting. its 5:30 AM and i've already been awake for 2 hours, which is just wrong on so many levels.

another year has come and gone. this past year was a difficult one for me, but also a year of new achievements. despite my dad's struggles with his health and my personal ups and downs; i ran my first half marathon in austin, completed my masters degree in education and became team leader of fourth grade at my school. i always try to imagine, how would i sum up my year in a sentence? 2010 taught me that there is much to lose in life, but also much to gain from those times of struggle.

so far, 2011 has welcomed me with luck on my side. this morning i left my passport and documents for the first time EVER at the security check point. i realized within 5 minutes while i was buying some coffee, raced back - and they were holding it all for me. i imagined i had left it laying on my checked baggage, or put it down somewhere where i would never find it again. then, on my flight to atlanta, they moved me to first class for 'weight and balance'. not sure if that is a compliment or not - but i got extra leg room, blankets, snacks and... wait for it... a glass cup.

so, what is life all about? what does it all mean? why does it hurt so much sometimes? i don't have any more answers then i did a year ago. but i do know that if i can appreciate the little details - running into an old friend on the train, sharing a hamburger with my mom, painting a picture, or getting extra leg room on the plane - that is what life is all about for me, for now. my new years resolution is to focus less on the big picture, and more on the little.

maybe i'll manage to understand the big picture in 2011.

paloma's affirmations of her life in mexico.

a spinoff of jessica's daily affirmations. if you're unsure, watch this video.

on the eve of paloma's departure to become a US citizen (yes, its true, some dogs are luckier then some people), we imagine these to be her thoughts on her life so far:

i love my sister kahla.
i love my special mama sarah.
i love my special mama sarah tambien.
i love my special mama ally.
i love my special mama elise.
i love my special papa damon.
i love my special mama megan.
i'm sure i would have loved my new special mama jess!
i wonder who that little dog was that was here for a month.
i LOVE MINE! (our maid)
i love the calzada! i love lying down on the calzada.
i love pooing when my special mama has no bag.
i love rubbing my nose in the grass at starbucks.
i love running away to the vet. i love running away in general.
i love the PEMEX guys. i love when they bark at me.
i love the cat that lives next door.
i love running at the dog park.
i love my enemy lily.
i love jumping up the wall. i love jumping on people to say hello. i love jumping in general.
i love being a lap dog.
i love tilting my head to one SIDE.
i love my new crate.
i love eating toast off the counter. i love eating plates of chicken off the counter. i love eating anything off the counter.
i love my WHOLE HOUSE on via savotino (insert clap here)
i will miss my OLD LIFE (mostly my sister kahla)

i can do anything good. i am proud to be a mexican street dog. yeah. yeah. yeah.
i am on my way to a new life.

the refrigerator.

monterrey, by some, used to be referred to as the 'refrigerator', because it was one of the safest places you could be in mexico. no more, it seems. coming back to monterrey, a city that i love, and seeing it like this, has been saddening.

first, of course, was the terrible damage done by hurricane alex. sadly, in canada, we did not get the full coverage of what was going on down here. there was tremendous damage done to infrastructure, two of the main thoroughfares and all of the businesses that had set up shop in the usually-dry river bed. the canyon by our school looks starkly different, and the road is completely washed out.

we moved this year to a new, state-of-the-art campus in santa catarina, on the other side of town. aside from my deep hatred of the morning commute, it has been a great experience to be in a new building, and be a part of the road bumps that come along with transition. however, our road bumps have gone beyond furniture and bulletin boards. on our third day of school, there was a shootout right outside our school grounds during dismissal. i won't go into details (you can just google it) but it was a harrowing experience. as a result of this, we have all become increasingly more aware of what is really going on in monterrey.

i don't really understand all of what is happening in these drug wars, but it makes me sad to think about how deep-rooted these issues are: corruption that could take generations to fix.

i should reassure you that my life here still feels very safe. today i ran errands and went to the gym. the mountains were clearer then they've been in a long while, so i went out and took pictures. i ordered sushi for takeout. we took the dogs for a walk. there were still lots of people at the mall, restaurants were full and traffic is still heavy and crazy.

when it rains, it always pours. and i know that this too will pass, and with time, my city of mountains will settle.

end of year visitor.

alyssa was just in monterrey for the week and i told her she could never leave! except... she did, this morning. even though the end of the year is a busy time, she just easily joined in and lived my life with me for the week! it was so amazing to have her here, to truly experience the day to day joys and struggles of living and teaching in mexico. we also were tourists extraordinaire, and literally did everything there is to do in monterrey.

just a few of the moments i don't want to forget:

*talking all evening at a picnic table in the mountains.
*taking a little walk up an almost dried up river-bed and spotting gigantic leeches, yuck.
*alyssa putting me to shame with her ability to inhale uber-spicy salsas.
*when i was stressed with marking, alyss made the BEST mini pizzas for dinner so i didn't have to cook!
*going to salsa class and actually going through the line of randoms since we didn't have partners.
*sharing more then one good solid cry.
*trying to find something to do in santiago, but realizing, there is really nothing to do in santiago!
*me being afraid my grandma taurus would not make it up over the mountains on our way out to camping.
*driving out into the canyon with kahla and going for a hike to watch the sunset.
*having her talk to my class about being a doctor. my kids screaming, ewww, yuck, cool!
*taking a long hike in chipinque and talking the whole way.
*getting all fancy and going to a rooftop bar for a mojito.
*helping her pick out her first pair of kum kum earrings!
*having alyss measure my long hair out before 14 inches were cut off in front of my entire class!

... and so much more.

thanks for coming to visit, alyss!

its true.

"...foreigness is intrinsically stimulating...an escape from the boredom and banality of the everyday. The mundane becomes superreal and experienced with an intensity evocative of the events of a true biography... living in a foreign country can evoke many of the emotions of childhood: novelty, surprise, anxiety, relief, powerlessness, frustration, irresponsibility."
-The Economist

travel advisory?

i'm not sure about canada, but mexico has been getting a lot of bad press recently in the united states. the violence going on between the drug cartels has gotten out of control in some of the border towns (not near me here, don't worry!) and governments have put travel alerts up for traveling down here. while there are definitely some places in mexico that i would definitely not go right now, i feel, in general, quite safe.

i read an article this week that put mexico's violence into perspective:

*mexico's murder rate is five times less then jamaica and half of brazil.

*when looking at the murder rate in latin america's most violent countries, honduras has a rate of 61 murders per 100,000 inhabitants while costa rica and mexico have 11.5 per 100,000 people. in comparison, washington dc has a murder rate of 31 per 100,000 and new orleans has a rate of 74 per 100,000.

*over the past 10 years, mexico's murder rates have been consistently dropping.

all this to say. mexico is a huge country with lots of very safe places to be. it is no more unsafe here then it is in many other large cities in the US.

don't worry about me!

Go Slow.

The motto of Caye Caulker is “go slow” and nothing could sum up this laid-back paradise better. We did not actually arrive very slowly – we almost missed our water taxi and were running with our suitcases to catch it – but we quickly fell into the rhythm of hippie island life. We were in Caye Caulker for about three days, and we did not do much at all except savor our remaining days in Belize.

Going slowly for us included:

-Lying by the pool in our cute little flower-filled courtyard at Seaside Cabanas
-Finishing a good read (The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo, in my case)
-Eating ice cream for lunch
-Going to a hotel (Iguana Reef) on the back of the island every evening, buying a drink, and watching the sunset (even if it was completely behind the clouds) with the melodious blackbirds singing their tune
-Walking down to the split and drinking a beer at a picnic table with our feet in the water
-Sitting for long breakfasts of fresh fruit and toast
-Mom and Auntie Diana getting up early, me sleeping an hour or two longer
-Mom and Auntie Diana going to bed early, me staying awake a couple of hours longer to chat with Fili
-Meeting our friend Pam from Vancouver everywhere that we turned
-Taking pictures of houses on stilts and funny signs around town
-Watching the other travelers arrive on the island, unaware of the bliss to come
-Laughing over a great bottle of wine at the island’s only Italian restaurant, Don Corleone
-Ordering copious amounts of mouth-watering seafood at Habanero’s (now up there with the best travel meals of my life), and still ordering dessert
-Smashing my crab legs with a metal hammer and cutting board – sweet relief!
-Walking barefoot on the sandy roads without cars
-Having the worst breakfast of my life at the Happy Lobster and not caring one bit
-Not going snorkeling when Mom and Auntie Diana did (I’m not good at saying no)
-Smiling as locals said good morning as they passed on their bikes
-Jumping in the ocean and getting salt up my nose

A quiet ending to a perfect two weeks. Memories with two of the best ladies in my life that I’ll remember forever. A country that is already calling me back.

Going Underground.

Monday and Tuesday were our last full days at the Lodge. Since we were on a package, we were given two more day trips that were included in our fixed price. My Mom and my Aunt are pretty adventurous ladies but they also have their limits. My mom had wanted to come river tubing since we had decided to come to Belize – apparently it is all the rage here. My aunt was pretty agreeable. I wanted to go on a raging caving adventure but we had to meet in the middle – part of the deal was that we had to go on the same excursions. So, after much deliberation we decided on two caving adventures. There are many caves in Belize because of the limestone rock that is prevalent there. Both were very different but each was unforgettable in its own way.

Caves Branch: Like I said, my mom had wanted to go river tubing since we had decided to come to Belize. When we asked for a description of this day-trip, we were told it would be ‘a relaxing float down the river with some moderate cave climbing’. Our expectations were blown from the very first moment. An ancient Belizean man named Mr. Buckley came to pick us up from Chaa. He was a tall man, with white hair and a white beard, dark skin, and he had a gift for storytelling. Before being a tour guide, he had been a member of the British Army, now he was a ‘retired’ guide slash Justice of the Peace slash driving historian. On his way through town he even stopped so we could see his house and his Guatemalan wife. He was not overly central to our cave experience, but he was by far the most interesting guide that we had while in Belize. There are only 5 highways in Belize: East, West, South, North and Hummingbird. We needed to get to the Hummingbird Highway for our adventures at Caves Branch. Caves Branch is actually also a hotel owned and operated by a Canadian named Ian Anderson. He owns the land where the caves are, so his company is the only one that can run tours. The hotel where we were put on a bus was a bit unnatural in our view – it felt like fabricated jungle. We boarded on old windowless school bus with a gaggle of annoying children who were seemingly given free reign to scream and shout. We were so far, not overly impressed. We were fitted with an inner tube, and immediately we heard the cackling laughter from a large gothic-dressed lady who I will be referring to as Bat Lady. Bat Lady thought it was hilariously funny that her husband’s enormous belly barely fit around the inner tube. We were deliberating – would it be worse to have Bat Lady or the annoying gaggle of children in our group?

As it turns out, the guide who had been driving our bus led our group. He looked young enough to be my son. We were given Bat Lady and her husband, but the kids went far in another direction. We hiked a few minutes until we reached the river and “gracefully” entered our inner tubes bottom-first. I am sure you can picture our gracefulness now!

We paddled for a few minutes down the river before we got to the mouth of the cave. We were given waterproof headlamps. What happened to the lazy river? We entered the darkness of the cave but due to the shallow waters we had to walk. What happened to the relaxing float? Our guide pointed out spiders and Bat Lady gave her ear-piercing shrieks, yet when our guide pointed out bats and grotesque bat droppings, Bat Lady spoke to them saying, “my children, my children”. I wanted to feed her to the bats to shut her up.

Our relaxing river float turned out to be quite a strenuous climb through caverns, leaving our inner tubes far below. I was worried my Aunt Diana was going to be severely regretting traveling with us for making her endure this, but she turned out to be the biggest adventure junkie of us all. She seemed very proud of herself and I am convinced she loved every second! We heard about the Mayans who used these caves long before us, and saw pottery remnants from their presence. We saw cave formations completely crystallized and other formations left from millions of years of drops of water. It was an entirely different world.

They set up a picnic in the middle of the cave, where our group (minus Bat Lady who was busy swimming with her non water-proof camera) socialized over make-your-own wraps. After, we explored a second cavern, our guide showing us an area that is believed to be a blessing in fertility due to the – ahem – fairly erotic shadows that the rock formation created.

Finally, we got to get back in our inner tubes, turned off our headlamps, and floated quietly (except for Bat Lady who refused to turn our her light and screeched the whole way) along with the current, and out of the cave. My Mom and Auntie Diana were on an adrenaline high all night from our deep dark adventure. I however, announced at dinner that I had thought of something positive about Bat Lady: she wasn’t staying at our hotel.

**

Barton Creek Cave: Our excursion to Barton Creek Cave was only a few hours - an hour drive in each direction and about an hour to paddle into the cave. Our guide, a nice guy who kept calling us “his girls” (my Mom lovvvved being called a girl!) drove us from Chaa Creek in the morning. On a map, it looks like arriving at Barton Creek should take about 15 minutes, but in reality, the roads are quite treacherous and it takes over an hour. The road definitely put our cottage bumpy road to shame!

The most interesting part of the ride was passing through a traditional Mennonite community. Belize has a large population of Mennonites, both traditional and modern. In fact, the more modern Mennonite communities literally feed the entire country of Belize. On the road to Barton Creek Cave live traditional Mennonites who use horses and buggies. The men had long beards and the women fully covered their bodies in long dresses and bonnets. The children mostly ran away from our car when we went by. I tried not to stare, but it is almost impossible not to.

The cave itself is on a property owned by a Canadian or American named Mike. Quite the life he and his family have – living very isolated lives deep in the valley next to traditional Mennonites. He charges a small fee, and has a small snack and drink bar. Fire ants immediately attacked Auntie Diana and I when we got out of the car, we must have stepped on their home by accident. They certainly are fierce little guys! Our next strange animal interaction was a monkey that lives on Mike’s property. I leaned down to say hello, and he crawled right into my lap – only to start nibbling on my ankle! It didn’t hurt, it actually scared me more then anything else. But I think I’ll stay away from monkeys from now on.

We got into canoes – the person at the back had the job of paddling and steering and the person at the front held the big powerful spotlights to light up our way. In my canoe, I was paddling and Auntie Diana was shining our way. Over the next hour we paddled just over a mile into the Cave, following the twisting and turning river as it flowed. It felt like we were in a sacred place, with high ceilings, towering rock formations and complete and utter silence. It should have been scary, but it wasn’t. The rock formations were breathtaking – the hidden underground felt more like a connection with heaven then the underworld. At one point, we had to meander the canoe carefully through spikes of rock that came down low to the river, and I even needed to lie back and paddle lying down at one of the lowest points. In this cave there were human remains found from the Mayans, as well as pottery – it is considered a living archeological site so you cannot get out of the canoes and any point.

The river apparently runs another 7 miles or so, but due to fallen rocks, it is impossible to pass in a canoe. So we turned around and headed out to the light again. It felt like a completely different cave when you looked at it from a different angle.

When we reached the light, we were left in awe of the two journeys into the underground.

Day by the Pool.

Sounds like a divine Sunday, right?

Not quite.

Day by the Pool day had no pool in sight.

The plan for Day by the Pool day was spoiled almost immediately when we woke up to a drizzly morning.

Followed by “isolated showers”.

Isolated over us.

We ate our breakfast under a palapa roof as the rain came down around us. We were impressed that the palapa roofs never leak!

The clouds got thicker.

Mom, always the optimist, believed they would clear. Hmm.

We resigned to jackets and umbrellas for a wet hike of the medicine trail. My flip-flops were truly flip-flopping and squishing around.

Next was a slippery hike to the river camp.

Was that a break in the sky? No, only a tease.

A guide told us if the leaf cutter ants are working hard in the night, we should expect rain. He also told us if the cattle lies down, we should expect rain. I didn’t believe him. Yet the day before we had seen an army of leaf cutter ants and ALL of the cattle were taking a snooze. He told us it was only a legend. But the rain kept coming down.

All of a sudden the spouts from the sky dried up and the birds began to chirp. I opened my computer to blog on the porch. I typed one word… and the rain came down again.

I ran for cover.

My mom and I went to the bar for a mojito and a shrimp basket.

Then booted it up the hill to the spa, because we had 1.5 hour massage appointments at the spa. ‘The Coma’ – the massage is called. Perfect to escape a rainy day. We were given a sarong, a cold glass of water, and we sat and looked at the flowers that adorned every corner in the spa. My massage was in a palapa hut on a grassy hill overlooking the jungle. My mom’s was in a cloth-covered balcony. As I went in, I heard the trickling rain stop. My masseuse was from Austria. She had lived in Belize for 3 years. She said we needed the rain, because the land was too dry. Hmmm. Not if it ruins my Day by the Pool we don’t!

After our massages, we were all dozy and cared a lot less about the rain, and a lot more about eating and having an early night to bed.

The massages had tricked us into forgetting about our Day by the Pool day. We were even secretly hoping it would rain again so we would have an excuse for another.

But I was still hoping that the leaf-cutter ants were taking a night off.